Across The Alternate
by calliecature
Summary: After a freak accident, Roger finds himself in an alternate universe and staring at a barrel of a gun. "You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are, "the red-haired man says icily, "And what have you done to my darling Rhoda." Thank you for everyone who gave this a chance! :D
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Across the Alternate**

**Summary**: Halloween Special! After a freak accident, Roger finds himself in an alternate universe and staring at a barrel of a gun. "You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are, "the red-haired man says icily, "And what have you done to my darling Rhoda."

**Disclaimer**: I do not own "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" –oh well.

**Proofread by the awesome** **ReadingRose459 who can withstand the intensity of my grammatical errors :D**

* * *

**Chapter 1: I Wonder What This Button Does**

Baby Herman can't wait for Halloween.

To be over.

The "Baby" takes a puff from his cigar, having just finished filming the Halloween Special, miraculously, with no blow-ups. Filming the episode today was particularly easy because Roger is a natural scaredy-cat. Or bunny as the case may be.

He takes a long inhale in his cigar.

"3…2…1…" he mutters to himself.

Roger pops up from nowhere. "Hiya Herman!"

A long time ago, that would have sent Herman into cardiac arrest, but after working with Roger for a long time, the old toon had developed Roger Radar.

The rabbit begins to hop up and down. "Jeepers, Baby Herman! Halloween's coming! I can't wait to go trick-and-treating!"

Herman's eyes bulge for a moment.

"Roger, about that…"

The rabbit seems not to have heard him or his hesitance as he continues to talk excitedly.

"Hey, what are we going to wear for Halloween? Remember our costumes last time?"

Herman cringes at the memory. Roger had dressed up in his pajamas and Herman got talked into wearing a teddy bear suit. Yes, the great Baby Herman was somehow convinced to make himself look like the very thing he wants to shoot at.

"We can dress as another theme for Halloween! We can go as Alice and the white rabbit!"

Baby Herman gives him a deadpan expression. Two guesses as to who would wear the dress.

"No."

A lightbulb flashes above the rabbit's head, "I know! I can be a mindless zombie and you can be the brain!"

Herman rolls his eyes, "Aren't we that already in real life?"

Roger indignantly puts his hands on his hips, "Hey!" then he pauses, "How about a tree and a monkey then?"

Herman's eyes widen with horror. "Hell, no!"

Roger wraps his ears around his head, "I can go as a bald guy and you can be the wig."

Herman looks at him sarcastically, "Now you're doing it on purpose."

"A pair of eyeballs?"

The "Baby" slaps a hand on his face, "Please, stop."

"Lady and the Tramp?"

"Dogs or actual women?"

"Herman!"

Roger gives him a chastising look before going into the Halloween hype again.

"This is going to be great! We can go as a Mona Lisa and Da Vinci, a Mexican and a Pinata, a fisherman and a lobster or you can be a sunflower and I can be a packet of seeds!"

Herman pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Roger, have you been eating too much Halloween candy again? Yikes!"

Roger has grabbed him and begins to twirl around on one foot while holding him up high.

"If Jessica can come with us, we can come in a theme trio for Halloween! What are costumes that come in three? We can go as the characters of Wizard of Oz!

Herman struggles in his clasp.

"Roger! I…"

"-Or Alice and the twins! Or salt, pepper and sugar! Or Goldilocks and the two bears! Or-"

Herman's blood pressure shoots up several degrees.

"Rabbit! Will you-"

"-rock, paper and scissors! Whoohoo! This is going to be fun, Baby Herman-"

"Roger!" he pops out from the rabbit's grasp.

He lands on the ground and turns to face his friend.

"I don't want to go trick-or-treating this year- or any year at all."

Silence falls between the two before Roger looks at him as though he said Christmas is cancelled.

"But… but why?"

Herman clenches his fists on his sides and yells the obvious. "Because it's childish, Roger!"

Roger waits for his ears to stop flapping from his sound waves. "But you never minded before."

The "Baby" sighs. Last Halloween as they were passing by the houses, he saw adults- people around their age and older having parties, getting drunk and dancing with ladies in hot costumes. And what about him? He had turned to look at his friend who was busy rummaging through his sack of candies. He's in a stupid costume with a childish Roger and acting like the baby that a lot of people think he is.

How can you explain that to someone who has a love for free candy?

"It's our thing, Herman," the rabbit continues.

He puts his hands on his hips, "Yeah? Well, find someone else to do it with you," he puts his arms in front of him and flings them away in defiance, "I'm through with kid stuff."

Herman finally stalks away, ignoring the look on Roger's face. Heaven knows that rabbit is one of the few that can stand him. But does he have to be such a dork? A rare twinge of guilt courses through him. But Herman stubbornly walks away.

The "Baby" grabs another cigar, ignoring the lady hired to pass him. He makes a wide berth to the blinking machines of the Mad Scientist that is the villain of today's episode. The villain's reassurance that they're harmless might be more believable if he didn't laugh like a maniac in the end. Of course, nobody believes him, even an idiot would know-

"I wonder what this button does."

Herman drops his cigar. That sounds like-

"Roger! Noooo-"

BOOM!

Herman coughs out through the haze of explosion as the dust begins to settle down. He grits his teeth. That rabbit is going to die from his own curiosity someday- if he doesn't kill him first. How many times does he have to tell Roger not to touch the props after filming? Even that mad scientist's props are questionable.

"Roger, you doof-brain!" he yells entering the thick cloud of explosion. From inside, he can see a silhouette of two long ears and a triangular body. "How many times do I-"

The silhouette becomes clearer and a rabbit bursts out of the haze and hugs him tight. Inside or outside the set, the idiot has no concept of personal space.

"Baby Mina! I was so scared! Are you alright?" a feminine sound out. Baby Herman is too busy trying to ease the vise-like grip of the forearm against his neck to notice.

"Roger! Put me down!" he yells, his feet scrabbling the air. He finally frees his arms and he pushes his upperbody away to gain some distance. Baby Herman opens his mouth and-

His jaw drops.

"Roger, why are you crossdressing?"

The female rabbit looks down at him with equal blue-eyed confusion.

"Baby Mina, why does your voice sound croaky? And why are you only wearing your diaper?"

Herman's brows twist into a frown. "I'm not-" he suddenly realizes his hands are pushing against something soft. His eyes travel downwards before scrambling out of her grasp with a shout.

"Holy crap! Those are real!"

Herman lands on his butt from a distance and he stares at her. White fur shimmers as she turns her head around at their surroundings, her long ears swishing gracefully with her movement. Herman's eyes numbly take note of her tuft of ginger bangs, the dainty pink nose, and the polka dot bow tie on her front-

"Roger! Honey-bunny, are you alright?"

Both baby and rabbit turns to see Jessica striding worriedly towards them. The redhead stops when she sees the female rabbit. Jessica cocks her head.

"Roger?"

The doe looks around as though wondering who Jessica is talking to. Realizing there is no one else; she puts her yellow-gloved hand to herself.

"I'm not Roger. What's going on?"

"Eureka! It worked!"

They all look at the newcomer. The Mad Scientist dances towards them giddily and begins walking around the doe. The female toon seems vulnerable as she shrinks to herself with cautious eyes.

"Almost the same features, red outfit, white fur, same species! Why, I must take notes!"

Herman finally got over the weirdness. "Hey! Lay off from the lady! You're scaring her."

The doe shifts uncomfortably and hugs herself.

"Where's Baby Mina? And Jesse?"

Jessica gives an icy look at the scientist and he backs away. She puts a comforting hand on the doe's shoulder.

"I think the question first is who are you?"

The female rabbit looks up to her with wide blue eyes that remind Jessica uncannily of someone.

"I'm-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

Roger groans as he rises from the rubble. A clicking sound makes him look up and he finds himself staring at a barrel of a gun. A red-haired young man glares at him with emerald eyes that seem all-so-familiar.

"You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are," he says icily, "and what have you done to my darling Rhoda."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: It All Started With A Big Bang**

It's funny how one big bang can change everything.

Roger glances nervously at the short, pale woman in a lab coat as she circles around him with a scrutinizing gaze. In the rush of people arriving to see the explosion, she has grabbed him and two other toons and rushed them into "her teleporter" which took them into something that looks like a cavernous laboratory.

He looks questioningly at the two others –the man who has pointed a gun at him and a baby in a blue sailor shirt and diapers. The man is now staring stoically at him. Roger gives him a small smile and he simply ignores it. The baby only gives the rabbit a puzzled look of suspicion.

"Are you a male?" the lady-in-a-lab-coat asks in a slow, loud voice as though he had come from another planet. Even if she only comes up to his waist, the way she is crazily staring at him makes him take one step backward.

"Uuuhhh…. yeah?"

"BWA-hahaha-hahaha!" she laughs, dramatically throwing her hands in the air, "I did it!"

Roger is really grateful this lady has stopped the man from blowing his head off. But she's already fulfilling the scary factor of his Halloween.

"Well, duh! He's obviously a guy!" the baby exclaims impatiently, "The question is, where's Rhoda?"

Rabbit ears twitch at her voice which sounds more of a sour middle aged lady than that of a toddler. Roger looks at the baby toon in surprise, "You're a girl?"

The man sighs and puts a hand over his eyes. _Wrong move, buddy._

The rabbit gives a frightened scream when the baby suddenly leaps at his face like a wildcat. He lands on his butt as the little tot straddles him, tugging his overalls.

"Of course, I'm a girl, you idiot!" she explodes, "You wanna see my-"

The man lifts the baby up by her back collar, much like a cat by its nape.

"That is why they dressed babies in blue or pink, Hermina."

The lady-in-the-lab-coat (or maybe scientist by the looks of the laboratory) clears her throat.

"Roger, isn't it? I think it would be best if-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-you tell us what happened first," the Mad Scientist says eagerly.

Jessica glares at the Mad Scientist. After she and Herman have failed to find Roger, Jessica is ready to calmly beat the truth out of the madman with her frying pan. The only reason he doesn't have a bruise the size of his own brain is because she and Herman are waiting to hear this strange girl out.

She takes a good look at the strange toon girl. The same way Roger looks triangular with his baggy overalls; this Rhoda looks like a triangle with legs. Her sleeveless red dress has a skirt that looks permanently flared which skims above her knees.

Rhoda begins to play with the hem of her dress. "I remember looking at a machine that looks like that," Rhoda said, pointing at one of the exploded machines.

"It has this big shiny button," she continues, spreading her arms wide, "So I pushed it!"

Herman rolls his eyes, "Sounds like somebody I know."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Roger twists his ears into a pinwheel and they begin to rotate rapidly.

"Then there was this funny humming sound at first," he continues as he points back at the inventions, "then BOOM!" he jumps up with his arms wide for emphasis.

"I thought I was dead!" he exclaims, then he looks at the red-haired man, "but you were threatening me with a gun so it's a relief."

The man calmly raises a brow. If they only know where Rhoda was, that would have made him laugh. Beneath his calm demeanour, his mind is racing with worry. _Rhoda, where are you?_

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Are you sure you're not some long-lost cousin of his or something?" Herman asks suspiciously.

The Mad Scientist laughs knowingly at their confused faces, "Don't you understand?"

The "Baby" glares at him in frustration, "Why don't you tell us because it's your stupid machine anyway," he snaps.

Jessica looks closer at this female white rabbit that seems so familiar but at the same time, she isn't. Plus, add the mad science invention in the scene. _It's impossible but…_

"Do you meant to tell us-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

The Lady in the Lab Coat, chuckles to herself.

"Doesn't he seem familiar to you?" she asks the baby toon and the man.

She turns to Roger.

"Don't we look familiar to you?"

Roger stares at them. He looks at the baby humanoid toon with her blonde baby hair and blue eyes that are giving him a bratty glare. She has her hands on her hips with an impatient tapping foot that reminds him of someone.

He looks with confusion at the tall, well-built man that Roger knows a lot of girls would consider handsome. Even with the orange hair, the wine red dress suit and ebony pants seem to accentuate a dark and mysterious aura. But it was the man's cool, calm disposition that strikes Roger oddly familiar.

The man speaks, his voice clear and masculine, "Well, you do look like my Rhoda gone wrong."

Roger's mouth open indignantly, "Hey! I resent that casually calloused comment!"

Hermina smirks, lighting a cigarette from a delicate cigarette holder, "Now that sounds like somebody I know."

The female scientist turns at her heel and approaches a blackboard, "There is this theory that there is more than one universe in the space that never ends."

She grabs a chalk and writes some equations, "Sixty seconds times sixty minutes times twenty-four hours times three hundred sixty-five days times the speed of light- that's one light year. To be able to travel from one-"

"Just get to the point!" the baby snaps.

"It would take too long for a spaceship to travel- there must be another way! So I tried to invent one. But it seems to have worked so now it's, 'I invented one'!"

She stalks creepily towards Roger again with that manic grin. Roger steps back nervously.

"There is also another theory that universes are realities. In another universe are our alternate selves. Where the boys are girls and the girls are boys."

The man's eyes widen in confirmation before looking back at Roger. The lady scientist continues.

"I also have a pet theory," her hooded eyes glint mysteriously, "The same thing happens in both universes yet differently. As we speak-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-our selves in the other universe have now come to the same conclusion," the Mad Scientist says. Then he bursts out laughing, "BWA-haha-haha!"

Herman looks at him, unperturbed by his display of madness, "Are you telling us Roger has travelled to another universe at the same time his female counterpart got here?"

The scientist's eye twitches, "That's pretty much the case."

Silence falls as they stare at Rhoda and she stares back.

Rhoda steps towards them, awestruck. It's almost scary how she looks so much like Roger right down to the cottontail.

"You're right," she said, not noticing how the Mad Scientist shuddered delightfully at her words. The rabbit breathes a sigh of relief. She can now see in these toons the two people she cared and trust the most.

Rhoda tilts her head, rabbit ears swaying to one side. Fluffy cottontail twitches happily as she looks at them.

"Forgive me for staring. But if I ain't dreaming, I'd say you must be female Jesse and boy Baby Mina!"

"Actually, I'm Jessica and he's Baby Herman," Jessica replies. Even her dress has bear semblance to Roger's overalls to the two yellow buttons that can be found at her waistline.

Herman looks at her with a scrutinizing scowl. Rhoda must have noticed it because she turns to him with a friendly smile with those bright blue eyes. He looks away, somewhat disturbed.

"Wow," the rabbit says, looking at Jessica as though she's a goddess, "You're as much as a looker as my boyfriend is!"

"Wish we could say the same for Roger," Herman mutters.

"Huh?" Rhoda asks, blinking at him with those long lashes.

Jessica gives Herman a look before turning to face her, "Believe me, he just gave you a compliment."

"I did not," he says, irritably crossing his arms and scowling at the ground.

He's suddenly lifted off his feet.

Rhoda's grip is firm, gentle but with smaller hands than that of Roger's. Herman blinks at her as she tilts her head to the side with a warm, wondrous smile.

"Jinkies," she murmurs, "You even got Mina's cherubic scowl."

Herman stares wordlessly at her.

_Where are all those sparkles coming from_?

She suddenly gives a cute squeal of happiness, breaking Herman from his stupor. Roger hoots, hollers, yodels. But Roger never squeals.

"My best friend's counterpart!" she says jubilantly before crushing him into a hug and twirling around like a little girl who got a new toy.

Herman struggles, feeling a sense of déjà vu. And a soft chest.

"PUT. ME. DOWN!"

Herman finally plops down on the ground as Rhoda turns to Jessica again. She clasps her hands together excitedly; her eyes bright with a spark the two are familiar with.

"This is amazing!" she says, hoping up and down, "You and Jesse are like the pair of pulchritude! The crowns of comeliness! The sky-high splendours! The-"

"What about me?" the Mad Scientist asks with fervour.

"Well," Rhoda says, stopping to put her hand on her chin before snapping her fingers, "You do remind me of the Lady in the Lab Coat!"

The Mad Scientist is suddenly in her face.

"Really? Tell me, what are her achievements? Have you talked to her? Has she discov-"

"She has your laugh," she says quickly, ducking from his mad stare, "And eye twitch and the same scary gaze..."

"What is her opinion on xenoplasmic phlegm separator? Has she managed to keep alive that two-head-"

"How about you fix the machine and bring her back home?" Jessica asks with a hint of threat, "If your theory is correct, they'd be doing the same right now."

The Mad Scientist backs away from Rhoda.

"That's right! I must fix the machine, the time for this mystery has come to an end in the name of science!" he runs around his lab, laughing like the mad scientist that he is.

Rhoda, Jessica and Herman look at each other.

Herman turns away. "I need to call someone," he mutters and goes off to look for a phone. As he walks, the reality of their situation begins to settle in.

Roger is missing. The Mad Scientist says he's in another universe where there is Jesse for Jessica and Baby Mina for Herman. Right now, there is this Rhoda whom Roger has swapped universes with.

Rhoda – a girl Roger who is just as annoying.

If this isn't really happening, Herman would have scorn the absurdity of the situation.

He finally finds a phone inside the crazy lab. When something gets too strange even for a toon, Herman knows one person who can help.

"Hello, Poppy? It's me, Herman."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What if the world's smallest misogynist meets the female version of his best friend in the world?


	3. Differently Yet The Same

**Chapter 3: Differently Yet The Same  
**

* * *

"Yeah! I know ya don't work for me anymore… what?! This isn't about me! And I'm not bratty! This is about Roger!... Why didn't I say so?! Yer the one yelling –I am not! Aaaauuurgh! Just get in here! You know the address…. What? I can't tell ya or you'll think I'm crazy…. Shaddap, Poppy!"

If it was anyone else, Herman would have slam down the phone. But experience has taught Herman to fear her a little- which he will only admit if held dangling above a vat of The Dip. He storms back to the living room (miraculously, they found one), muttering about stubborn ex-nannies.

_Women, _he thought irritably as he pushes the door open.

Rhoda is talking animatedly to Jessica who sits back with a rare amused smile on her face. The scene rather reminds Herman of the times he'd see Roger and Jessica talking. From the looks of it, the two seems to be bonding quicker than superglue.

The rabbit is now hopping up and down the way Roger would whenever he gets excited about something. Her voice carries through the air in the same volume Roger's voice would in his natural cheery disposition. She flings her arms wide in harmony with her expressive ears the same manner Roger would when telling an anecdote.

But Rhoda isn't Roger.

_Rhoda is_, Herman tries to grasp words, _a Roger with boobs_. _Gross!_

And he accidentally touched her. _Gross!_

And she invades space with a death grip of a python.

_The heck with that?!_ he thought irritably, staring at the two occupants inside the room.

One occupant inside the room.

Herman blinks, realizing he's just seeing Jessica. Where's-

A pair of blue eyes fills his entire vision.

"Hiya Herman!"

Herman yells in surprise, the shock almost sending him into cardiac arrest.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Jeepers!" Roger squeaks on the ground. "You hit harder than Herman!" he says talking in a high pitched voice.

Baby Mina looks down at Roger who has curled up into a ball holding something vital and injured.

"Why do people keep on surprising me!?" she asks with exasperation, stepping over him, "My foot has a mind of its own!"

Mina turns to Jesse who is standing by the window, "I just called Pop, and he'll be here any moment."

Roger whimpers in agony but a chuckle interrupts his mental laments. He looks up to see Jesse pressing his lips together the same way Jessica would when she's trying not to laugh.

That's enough for Roger to smile.

Mina smirks as Roger finally shakes it off and hobbles to the couch. She puffs from a cigarette holder.

"So, how am I as a boy, Rhoda-with-a-doodle?"

"Mina!" Roger chastises reactively.

The "Baby" smirks at the familiar pattern albeit with a different person.

"Just kidding, rabbit. Well?"

Roger straightens up from the sofa, thumping one rabbit foot thoughtfully.

"He's a famous toon star way before I was working with him," he says, "He does get upset easily-"

Jesse coughs.

"-Swears like a sailor, smokes a lot and has an armoury inside his pram-"

Jesse turns to Mina, "Wow, Mina," he says in voice of mild sarcasm, "He's so unlike you."

"He's a really good guy once you got over his animosity to people who coo at him," Roger continues, and then he gives a big grin, "Plus he's a true friend!"

Jesse continues to look at the window, leaning on the windowsill with his arms folded, his emerald eyes distant.

"Stop smirking, Mina. He's talking about Herman not you."

"He's my counterpart," the "Baby" shots back, settling back on the sofa, "Whatever he does is an interpretation of me."

She gives Roger a sideways glance, "What about this Jessica?"

Emerald eyes flicker at them.

It only takes the rabbit's sappy expression to say it all.

"She's perfect!" he sighs.

Mina scowls at Jesse who looks back at the window.

"Stop smirking, Jesse."

The vocalist responds only by casually giving her a cool smile fit for a front cover of a magazine. Mina harrumphs and turns back to Roger.

"So how'd ya and this Jessica end up together?"

Jesse raises a brow Mina.

"What?" Mina asks, "I'm curious about what Labcoat said, you know, about being different here and there yet it's still the same."

Mina turns back to Roger with a wicked grin and jerks her thumb at Jesse.

"Do you know how Jesse and Rhoda got together?" she cackles at the memory, "Ya should have seen them both! Rhoda _never_ had a guy who has the "hots" for her and Jesse _never_ had a girl who doesn't worship him as a sex god."

Roger cringes at her choice of words, his ears curling to themselves, "Mina!"

"Rhoda was so oblivious! It was almost painful to watch!" Mina is now thumping the sofa with a fist in a fit of laughter, "Until-"

"Until I told her point-blank," Jesse says, "She was surprised and needed some time-"

"Ya scared her off because yer too forward!" Mina crows, holding her sides from laughing, "She avoided you for a week!"

The baby stops laughing long enough to look at Roger.

"It took dogged determination to convince her he's serious. Even then, it took him longer to get her on a date!"

"That was then," Jesse says smoothly, leaving the window. He leans back on the armchair, crossing his long legs that remind Roger of elegant strokes of charcoal.

"So how'd ya and Jessica got together?" Mina asks, her laughter subsiding.

Roger looks at them sheepishly.

"We kissed and we became official."

Mina rolls on the sofa howling with laughter as an annoyed expression crosses Jesse's handsome features.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"So," Rhoda says, trying to dissolve the storm clouds above Herman's head, "Who's Poppy?"

"Herman's human ex-nanny," Jessica answers, adjusting her dress, "Her name is actually Mary but we call her 'Poppy' because of her surname," she continues as she stands up to look at the window.

Rhoda's eyes lights up, "Just like Mina's ex-butler! We call him Pop because of his last name too! Mina says he's unlike any other humans!"

"How similar do you think are our worlds?" Jessica muses.

"I dunno," Rhoda replies, shrugging, "Do you also sing at the Charcoal Groove?"

Jessica smiles, "At the Ink-and-Paint Club, actually."

"Yer an A-list toon star too?"

Both girls turn to Herman who has settled on an armchair with a lit cigar.

Rhoda beams, "Why of course!"

Herman startles when she suddenly hops on the coffee table like it's a stage.

"Rhoda Rabbit, cartoon comedienne," she says with a curtsy then she straightens up and points a thumb confidently on her chest, "My whole purpose in life is to make people laugh!"

He gives her an unimpressed look. Comediennes are rare because it's hard for women to be funny. Roger is a comedian whose talent lies in visual gags and slapstick comedy. Does a girl getting mauled by a mallet funny? Nope. TV Censors would react faster than one can say "Supercallifragi-" whatever it is that Poppy says.

Looking at her, how on earth does this bunny make people laugh?

"Eep!" Rhoda squeaks as the coffee table she's standing on collapses.

CRASH!

She hops backward on to the sofa but her feet hits the backrest and the sofa falls backward along with her.

"Whoa!" she yells, her arms windmilling before the sofa crashes on the floor. Rhoda rolls into a ball away from the fallen furniture before straightening up.

"Jinkies! I'm so sorry!"

Rhoda must also be very cultured too because she bows down in apology, her rump hitting a bookcase that hits another bookcase and another in a domino effect.

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

Too bad the last book case chooses to fall onto Herman. But first, it decided to plop every book on top of his head.

Pak! Pak! Pak! Pakpakpakpakakakakakak! CRASH!

Silence ensues as the dust settles in. Jessica blinks, calmly registering the damage that looks like a storm got inside the room.

Herman finally bursts out from underneath the bookcase. He stops, looking at slender rabbit feet before looking up.

"Jinkies, Baby Herman," Rhoda says as she kneels beside him, her rabbit ears drooping. She looks at him like a puppy that is about to be punished, "Are you alright?"

Herman stares wordlessly at her. The rabbit then decides to make things right: by making him laugh.

"Hey Herman!" she says in a sing-song voice before making the silliest face she can pull.

Herman still stares wordlessly at her.

_How can someone, anyone make the craziest face and still ain't look ugly? _he thought.

Then it dawns on him.

_Rhoda is an A-list toon star by being the cutest klutz on the face of the Earth._

Wait, what? Did he just called her-

_GROSS!_

Jessica looks at him strangely, "Herman? Are you alright?" Right now he should be raving and ranting about hazards and should they "fool" proof everything around her or not.

It takes a while for Jessica to get it.

DINGDONG!

"That must be Poppy," he says quickly. Things are getting weirder and he can't wait for everything to go back to normal.

**_Across the Alternate_**

Mina opens the door revealing a stately-looking young gentleman.

"What is it now, Mina?" Pop asks, "What do you need to show-"

Pop's eyes settle on a familiar-looking rabbit that is not the rabbit he knows at all. He makes a beeline for Roger. The rabbit steps back a little, surprised.

"Jeepers! You could have been Poppy's twin brother," Roger says, staring at the young man in Victorian clothes, "if she has one."

The ex-butler does not say a word as he takes out a tape measure. He measures Roger's height from his floppy feet to the tips of his ears. Pop gives a nod.

"We need to talk."

Mina yelps as Pop pulls her outside the house and slams the front door.

Roger and Jesse looks at each other in confusion. The vocalist shrugs.

"Let them catch up for awhile."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Poppy gives Herman a quizzical look.

"You're telling me that Roger is replaced by Rhoda, his girl version, because of a machine made by the Mad Scientist?"

Herman puffs out a smoke ring, "Yeah that's why I called you. You can do all those hocus-pocus that ya kept denying after."

Poppy raises a brow, "What hocus-pocus? The only magical thing I did while working for you is getting you to stop calling me 'Toots'."

He looks at her shrewdly. He'll never understand how she can do all of those things and why she denies all of it after.

"Just help the loony as best as ya can," he goes back inside the house, "Don't worry, Roger and Jessica never has a clue anyway."

Herman slams the door behind him.

Poppy waits for his footsteps to be gone before looking around. Seeing no one, she takes an antique telephone out of a small purse that would not have accommodated it.

"Hello, Pop?" Poppy sighs already massaging her temple.

"It's me, Poppy. We got two rabbits in trouble. _Big_ trouble."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The Mad Scientist hums happily as he works on a new machine. He stops when he feels a gust of wind flap his labcoat. A voice as icy as the breeze speaks out.

"What were you thinking?"

He turns around to see a young woman in a simple Victorian dress glaring at him. The Mad Scientist smirks.

"Why if it isn't sweet-little-Mary-quiet-contrary. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Poppy snaps her fingers and every junk cluttering the lab closes in on the scientist, trapping him immobile. She calmly walks towards him.

"Two universes of contrasting matter, scientist. Do you even have an idea?

Herman's ex-nanny seldom gets mad. But put her friends in danger…

She grabs his jaw and forcibly makes him look at her.

"Positive plus negative. What do you think will happen to Roger and Rhoda in a matter of time?"


	4. Chapter 4: Before the Big Bang

**Chapter Four: Before the Big Bang**

* * *

There was this guy.

Never mind the name. Rhoda thought it's the classic boy-meets-girl story. He's a pretty decent guy, pretty cute too. He's funny, he's smart and like all first loves; the days were spent with her floating aloft in Cloud Nine.

But then he made a queasy face and said, "Let's just be friends."

Cartoon City experienced a Richter scale of level 9 earthquake when Rhoda crashed down to earth.

As she rose out of the bunny-shaped hole with stars dancing around her head, she vows to never make the same mistake again –by being the best girl _space_ friend a guy can ever have.

* * *

Mina always says she's naïve but Rhoda would beg to differ.

The rabbit stretches her arms, taking in the sunlight. Humming, she skips to the direction of the studio.

A group of cartoon choir girls walks by her and she waves at them. They wave back and start whispering to each other.

_Oh, right_, she thought, _I knew this would happen._

Gossip is strong in Cartoon City. Of course, one of the circulating gossips would surround Jesse Krupnick –the "hot male vocalist" that is catching the eye of women and women-at-heart, toons and humans alike.

Rhoda rolls her eyes, people would make up anything. Ever since Jesse has become an extra in their show, it can't be help that there'd be people involved in the make-believe drama. Being A-list toon stars, Rhoda and Mina have their fair share of gossip but not as intriguing as that of their friend.

Right now, the gossip surrounds him and her. She gives out a bubbly laugh –a rabbit and a humanoid toon? Whoever heard of such a thing? But that's gossip for you.

She knows what to do. She got it all down the pat backed by a long history of being one of the boys.

Phase one, she and some guy would become friends. They'd talk, they'd laugh, and they'd enjoy each other's company.

Phase two, that companionable bond would become a bond of kinship. Outsiders would see a guy and a girl and they'd get ideas. This is where boy would get uncomfortable.

Phase three, is the time for The Talk. Make it clear to him that you know what he feels and tell him you feel the same for him: "Just friends." Boy would then be relieved and everything would be back to normal.

Mina should eat her bonnet, kettle and every idiom of a nonbeliever.

"Hi, Jesse!"

A tall, elegant figure turns to face her. Rhoda is too used to the jazz music playing in the background to notice its regular occurrence whenever he's around.

Emerald eyes flicker up from the book he's reading and hold her sunny smile for a moment. Jesse then breaks contact and resumes flipping the pages.

"I should never have bought 'Gone with the Wind' in a toon bookstore," he said, his brows mildly creased with confusion, "When I opened the pages, all the words were blown away."

"Gone with the Wind?" Rhoda asks, she grabs his book and flips it open, "That's easy. Thhhhhhhhppppppptttt!"

Jesse blinks with shock after Rhoda makes a raspberry at the pages. She gives it back to him and he's even more surprised when he sees the words are back again on the book.

"It's in the tip of your tongue!"Rhoda exclaims, "Jinkies! That's the trouble with you humanoid toons. You think too much like humans!"

Jesse's lips quirks into a cool, half-smile that a lot of fangirls would kill for.

"Whatever would I do without you?" he asks, settling back on his chair.

Rhoda laughs and plops herself on the table beside him.

Time to initiate Phase Three.

She grabs a magazine and flips through it. Before doing The Talk, make sure both of you are preoccupied with an activity to dissipate the incoming awkwardness.

"So, Jesse," she says, skimming over an ad for electric seat buzzers, "Heard the latest gossip today?"

Jesse gives a noncommittal shrug, "I couldn't care less."

"Well, there's this gossip around Mauve Studios," she continues and rolls her eyes, "And you know how people are."

Emerald eyes rise above the rim of his book. Just because he doesn't care about gossip doesn't mean he hasn't heard them. Rhoda finds a crossword puzzle and takes out a pen.

"One of 'em is about you and me," she says as she chews her pen thoughtfully before scribbling in the boxes, "And don't worry, I'm not getting any funny ideas."

There, simple, cool and casual. No drama. This is almost like clockwork. Boy would either answer with a laugh or a funny remark then Rhoda would play-threateningly ask if they're the ones getting funny ideas. They would then banter away with the issue solved and completely forgotten.

Jinkies, she should write a book. She happily answers another question as she let her dangling legs swing over the edge of the table.

"What kind of gossip anyway?"

Rhoda looks up in surprise. Well, Jesse isn't like most guys. She shrugs and goes back to her crossword puzzle.

"You know, people think there's something going on between us. I mean, come on!" she exclaims, looking up from her puzzle, "Maybe it's because we're friends that's why we hang out together? They see a guy, they see a girl –it's very ridiculous! We're not even of the same species!"

Rhoda misses the look that flashes across Jesse's face before it becomes unreadable again.

"And you know what's more ridiculous? It's the majority of today's gossip is you like _like_ me!" she drops the magazine in a fit of laughter as she clutches her stomach at the very idea.

A shadow covers over her and Rhoda looks up to see Jesse standing in front of her, blocking her light. Even when she's sitting on the table, he still manages to tower over her.

"What's so ridiculous about that?" he asks quietly.

"Oh come on!" Rhoda says, wondering why one of them still doesn't get it, "Look at you!"

She gestures at him, every detail of him a dream drawn to real life.

"And look at me!" she exclaims, gesturing to herself by giving a cock-eyed expression while circling a finger on the side of her head, "If they're going to make something up, the least they can do is make it believable!"

Jesse put his hands on the table on either side of her, leaning forward.

"They didn't make it up."

Rhoda leans backward, suddenly aware of their proximity, "Haha, very funny, Jesse."

The vocalist gives her a smouldering gaze that would have weaken the knees of any woman, "I'm not being funny, Rhoda."

Rhoda's mouth hangs open. For once, loud chatterbox Rhoda doesn't have a comeback.

"They simply talk what everyone can see except you," he says.

Rhoda leans back further that she has to prop herself with her hands. Jesse can see she's starting to shake, "J-jesse, stop it!"

"You're a rabbit, I'm a humanoid toon. So what? I've seen weirder things," he continues, stepping closer.

In an effort not to be touched by any part of him, Rhoda parts her legs. Jesse stops when his hips hit the edge of the table.

If anyone walks in on them, Cartoon City's Gossip Column would become the FrontPage.

Heat is rushing up her face. This isn't happening! Jesse? But how? When? Why? How did she end up like this again?

_Hit him! Push him off and run away!_ Her mind screams.

She shakes her head hard as though trying to wake up from a really strange dream –or nightmare.

"I don't believe this!"

"Fine."

The rabbit gasps when he suddenly leans closer. But Jesse stops with their lips are only centimetres apart.

"I'm coming for you," he says and Rhoda can numbly feel his breathe upon her lips, "But you'll have to meet me one-tenth of the way."

He straightens up and steps back from a shellshocked rabbit, "That's all I ask."

Jesse walks out of the room, leaving a stunned Rhoda behind.

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

Even from inside her trailer, she can already hear someone calling her name.

"Miiiiiinnnnnaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The mentioned toon does not bother to look up from her spa table as the sound gets louder and louder. Nor does she turn to see who bursts inside the room and slams the door close again.

"The least you can do is knock," she says, taking off the sliced cucumbers on her eyes before facing the intruder.

She stops when she sees Rhoda.

"What on earth happened to yah?"

Rhoda is plastered against the door as though to prevent anything from following her. Her eyes are wide and scared and for some reason she's breathing very fast.

Mina yelps when Rhoda zips to her and scoops her up so that she's know eye-to-eye to a very frantic Rhoda.

"Mina! Something weird happened! I don't know why it happened! I don't know how it happened! It just did! It's surprising that I'm taking this very well-"

"Yes. Yes you are," Rhoda said dryly.

"-but why?! This is an atrocious anomaly! An eccentric enigma! A paranormal paragon! A-"

"Simple summary if ya wud just git to da point!" Mina says impatiently, her street slang sounding.

Rhoda gently set Mina down and begins pacing the length of her carpet, one finger twirling her ear distractedly.

"You know my Three Steps Guide to Guy Friends, right?"

Mina arcs a brow. Of course she knows about her friend's "just-a-friend" mindset. Rhoda perfected the "Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend" shtick since _him._ Rhoda continues to talk, wringing her yellow-gloved hands together.

"I mean it never failed me before. The boys are happy and I'm happy with the friendships I have made with all of them. But Jesse-"

"Wait! What about Jesse? Did that bastard did anything to ya?" Mina interrupts.

Rhoda stops and slowly looks at her. Silence stretches between them before the doe shakes her head with more vigour than necessary.

"No!"

Mina crosses her arms.

"That would have been more convincing if you're not as red as your dress," she puts on her "Don't-Lie-To-Me" face, "What did he do?"

Rhoda turns redder as she slaps both hands on her face and slowly slid against the wall down the floor.

"He- he almost kissed me but didn't. He told me he likes me," she lifts her hands from her face to look at her, "Like _like_ me, Mina. Where on earth did that came from?"

Mina calmly stands there, looking at the distressed rabbit.

"So he finally told ya, huh?"

"Who would have thought –wait, what?"

The "Baby" toon lights a cigarette, "Everybody knows, hon."

Rhoda's mouth opens and closes disbelievingly, "B-b-but I'm-" she gestures to herself, "He's a-" she gestures outside.

"So? We've got humans who got toons in a relationship. At least you're both toons," Mina says, flicking her cigarette on an ashtray.

"I'm not even in his league!" she exclaims, standing on her tiptoes and raising one hand high above her head for emphasis.

Mina shrugs.

Rhoda grabs her ears again and covers them over her eyes, "Why me?"

* * *

_A long time ago…_

Inside Mauve Studios, a lone toon wonders inside the screening room. If Mina and Rhoda are going to take their sweet time preparing to leave, he might as well find a way to pass time. He can leave without them with no hard feelings but he likes spending time with Rhoda even if Mina is always scowling at him.

When Rhoda's around, everything's light and funny. She's the first girl who ever befriended him with no hope or intention that there'd be fireworks between them or whatever they call it in those prissy romance novels.

Besides, she makes him laugh.

Looking at the library, his finger brush cases and cases of labelled film until something caught his eye: Rhoda Rabbit, first cartoon short.

Jesses' brows rise with interest. Funny, it didn't say "Baby Mina and Rhoda Rabbit Cartoon Short". He lets it play on the machine and sits down as soon as the white screen lights up.

A nature scene brightens the screen as piano music filters inside the room. In the middle of it all is Rhoda smiling at the camera and doing a simple sidestepping dance in time with the music. Then she sings.

"_I want to be pretty_

_I want to be loved_

_I want to be happy _

_Not mocked from above"_

Jesse smiles in amusement. Rhoda doesn't act this cute in or out of the set. It must be one of those trial cartoon shorts for beginning toons.

Rhoda in the screen makes a sad funny face as she pulls her ears around her like a hood.

"_Don't want to be homely_

_Don't want to be lonely"_

Jesse smirks, she is never self-conscious in making funny faces if it makes her ugly or not. Prettier women would be worrying over that kind of thing but Rhoda's that comfortable with her own pelt.

The camera pans around her as she twirls with her arms wide open, her ears trailing with the movement.

"_Don't want to see my dreams go free!"_

Her ears were always kind of distracting whenever they were talking. They seem to have a mind of their own sometimes.

Jesse's eyes calmly widen in surprise when Rhoda jumps from the side of the screen and hugs a male anthromorph rabbit toon with a sappy adoring gaze.

"_I just want a boyfriend_

_A guy of my own-"_

The screen next shows the guy on a boat holding the oars. Rhoda drags a very heavy picnic basket and jumps on the boat. The boat lurches heavily to her end, sending the guy flying into the lake.

"_This way my life won't end_

_Forever alone-"_

The boat rights again and Rhoda looks everywhere for him. When she couldn't find him, she hangs her head.

Next scene shows Rhoda pumping her fist determinedly in a (which he is looking at in an objective point of view) very cute way.

"_One day I will find you_

_There's nothing I won't do-"_

Rhoda can next be seen skipping merrily with her arms around another toon rabbit's arm. She lets go of him and runs towards the camera by crossing a fastlane, the buck following her.

"_-'Cause you will make my dreams come true!"_

She sings happily, oblivious when the buck got hit by a passing car on the background.

The camera then shows Rhoda dragging toon rabbit no. 3 excitedly down the street.

"_We'll walk together-"_

Unfortunately, the guy kept getting hit by stop signs, mail boxes and lamp posts behind Rhoda. She suddenly lets him go when she saw something in the shop window and he falls down a man hole.

"_-And talk together-"_

After toon rabbit no. 4 whispers something in her ear, she puts her hand giddily on her cheek and punches him with affection. The punch sends him into a brick wall.

"_-Be locked together-"_

The next scene is Rhoda affectionately tying herself with toon rabbit no. 5 –with a straightjacket.

"_-In every way!"_

"I think I'm seeing a pattern here," Jesse murmurs as he watches Rhoda hug another toon rabbit who looks asphyxiated. A crunching sound can be heard in the background.

"_There's none I'd rather_

_Completely smother-"_

X-ray flashes on the toon guy as he passes out, unnoticed by Rhoda who is smiling at the camera with one leg popping up behind her.

"_Than you my lover all day!"_

The camera shows Rhoda with a heart-breaking expression.

"_And if you'll cheat_

_You will make me bleed_

_I will -"_

Her voice suddenly becomes deep and guttural as her eyes suddenly flash red. Rabbit ears wave at the heat of the flames that burst from her very aura.

"–MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL_-"_

In the blink of an eye, she turns back to sweet, gentle Rhoda, blinking innocently.

"_-All day!"_

Jesse leans back, shaken. He doesn't know she can do that.

"_I want to be pretty_

_I want to be loved-"_

From the hallway, Rhoda wanders around looking for Jesse. Her ears twitch when she hears a familiar tune. She freezes when she follows it to the screening room.

With a scream of horror, she leaps in front of the screen, waving her arms.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Jesse leans to the side, trying to watch, a cool smile playing on his lips.

"But why? It's funny."

"It's embarrassing!" she exclaims.

"It's not," Jesse says firmly.

He pulls her to a seat beside him, "C'mon, it's almost finish."

Rhoda relents by letting him pull her and she puts her hands and ears over her eyes.

"_I know I am dorky_

_But give me a chance!"_

The screen shows Rhoda chasing a very scared Cupid who is holding a paper that bans Rhoda from being matched.

"_I'm not in a hurry_

_I just want romance"_

The Rhoda glares at Jesse as his shoulders shake with silent laughter. The next screen shows more of the Rhoda he knows.

"_One day I will get there-"_

She puts her hands on her hips defiantly.

"_-You doubt me I don't care"_

She points to the far horizon, as though looking at something unreachable but with determination.

"_One day I will find you_

_There's nothing I won't do"_

The ending scene shows Rhoda holding a very large quarter. She spins around in one foot, looking up at the camera above.

"'_Cause you will make my dreams-" _

She lets it fly into the wishing lake behind her.

"-_coooome_-"

The gigantic quarter hurtles towards a buck wishing for a girlfriend. Rhoda stops spinning and spreads her arms wide looking at the camera. She never notices the coin plunging the guy into the lake behind her.

"_-truuuuuuueee!"_

Jesse covers his mouth as the credits roll, shaking with mirth. He looks beside him to see Rhoda have sunk lower on her seat with her yellow-gloved hands on her face.

"I can't believe you watched that," she mumbles on her palms.

"How come I never saw that on air?"

"Because," Rhoda stands up, "No other toon guy wants to work with me after that. It was the biggest mistake of my life- I only read my lines!"

She takes the film and stores it back to the library.

"All those stuff you've seen? There were all accidents. I mean, I thought Joey Rabbit was acting the fainting!"

She hangs her head.

"But the director love my jinx tendencies that he never told me until the short was finished! It's how I discovered one of my comedy abilities," she sighs, "I'm the eye of a storm-bringing disaster. Every toon guy around me gets hurt."

Jesse inclines his head to the side, he has heard about that.

Rhoda waves her hand dismissively to him, "You're not affected because you're Mr. Perfect!"

"I am not," he replies.

"Then how come dirt doesn't stick on you?"

Jesse decides to change the subject, "I'm glad it's not aired. That short doesn't seem like you."

Rabbit ears cock at the question, "What do you mean?"

"Rhoda chasing romance?" Jesse shakes his head, "The only time I saw you swoon was when you saw that ad for Carrot Candy."

Rhoda laughs and Jesse looks at her in surprise. Usually it's Rhoda who makes him laugh. A rare smile lights up on his face that is not seen by a lot of people.

"And are you really going to let them show your fans that you fawn over boys?" he elaborates coolly, "You're too cool for that –or them," remembering the sappy expression on her face.

Or the way that cartoon short made her cling on guys.

He is not going to honour that observation with a comment.

They walk out of the screening room. Rhoda shrugs.

"Besides, I'm not girlfriend material," then her eyes light up, "Hey Jesse! Speaking of material, Mina and I are going to watch Treasure Island for our Pirate Special Episode-"

Jesse stares at her, only half-listening. Did she just say she's not girlfriend material?

She's an outgoing, upbeat girl who'd go out of her way to make someone laugh when she sees they're blue- including him who keeps everyone away with an icy glare. She's the one who saw past his cold façade and sincerely reached out for him even though she doesn't seem to notice that she did.

She's got a sense of humour that she's never afraid to portray. She would find a ray of sunshine –no, she _is_ the ray of sunshine- when people are after him for something else and not talent. What guy wouldn't fall for her? Even he wants her. Are-

Wait, what?

"-to study their lingo like 'Aaaar!, Hello Matey!, Ya scurvy scallawags!, Shiver me bones!' but we should also read the book-"

"You're a rabbit," Jesse says suddenly out of the blue.

Rhoda blinks in confusion, "Of course, I'm a rabbit."

She tilts her head to the side questioningly.

"Have I been anything else to you?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Omigosh! I can't believe I wrote that table scene! What's wrong with me?! (evil grin) I should have written that for the original couple instead. Just kidding.**

I couldn't decide whether to put this as another chapter or a separate fic. What do you think?

The song came from this link: **Derpina Real Life the Musical. You can watch it in You Tube  
**

I 'm happy when you like my story enough to fave it –I really am. But would it be okay to ask for some feedback? I don't mind constructive criticism because it helps me keep on track but please tell me your reaction. I want to know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5: The Cancellation Effect

**Chapter 5: The Cancellation Effect**

"Why on earth do they need to talk in private? We were there when it happened."

Roger shrugs, "I dunno," his ears perk with interest when he finds something, "Hey! These are a lot of chopsticks!"

Jesse frowns a little. Pop has always been his friend, a breath of fresh air when Rhoda and Mina are being girls. But he never knows much about the ex-butler's past. Or why Mina called Pop to come here.

"We were there when _you_ happened," he corrects himself, turning to Roger.

But Roger is highly preoccupied with fencing with chopsticks in an epic battle against his own rabbit ear.

"Evil villain, you will never win!" he declares theatrically as he parries in the swashbuckling exchange.

Jesse stares at him before he chuckles at his silly behaviour.

"You are Rhoda's counterpart, alright," he says, leaning back on the sofa and casually twirling an unused chopstick in his long fingers. Apparently, the Lady in the Labcoat eats Chinese Takeout.

"I challenge thee to a duel for stealing the kiss of my beloved twin sister!"

The male vocalist looks up to see Roger pointing his chopstick at him in a theatrical musketeer stance. Jesse raises a brow. By twin sister, does he mean Rhoda? He smirks, recalling how Rhoda loves to play games. Still lounging at the sofa, he coolly points his own chopstick at him.

"Thou'st a fool to challenge me."

Thin wooden sticks clash and flash in a flurry of swings, blocks and counterattacks as they fight. Roger is a hyper-energetic blur of attacks while Jesse calmly fights back as though his chopstick is merely an extension of his arm.

"I must say," the rabbit says, hopping up when Jesse swings his chopstick where his shins have been. He puts his stick behind his back and leans forward tauntingly with a playful grin, "thou actually have teeth."

Jesse stops for a moment before realizing that he's grinning. It's typical of Rhoda to be as playful as a dolphin and just spontaneously drag people to whatever fun she's storming up.

Roger makes a surprised face when Jesse stands up and attacks forward. Sticks clacking, they fence around the living room, weaving through lampstands and furniture. Roger jumps against a wall for an aerial attack. Jesse blocks his slash and Roger leans his whole weight against their crossed sticks, making Jesse step back.

"Any last words?" the rabbit asks dramatically.

Eyebrow crease in concentration, Jesse gives him a staged glare, "Your sweet, innocent sister," a cool smirk suddenly plays on his lips as his eyebrows rise suggestively, "Is actually one hell of a kisser."

Roger gasps and leaps back, his ears reddening. What he said isn't much of a big deal but the way he said it is very convincing that it _is_ a fact.

"Hey!" then he remembers to keep up the act, "Change not the rating of the scene!"

Jesse shrugs although he's still smirking. Well, it is true. Plus, it's funny when Roger gets embarrassed over such things.

Roger glares at him. For some reason, he gets the feeling that just like Jessica; Jesse's enjoying his embarrassment.

"It is the truth set in the universe's foundation," Jesse smoothly says, keeping up with the theatrics, then he pretends to scowls, "But if thou are my maiden's fated twin…"

He points his chopstick on Roger's heart with a loaded half-smile.

"Then thou hath besmirch mine Cousin Jessica with the same gift of pleasure."

Jesse takes advantage of Roger's reddening embarrassment and charges at him. Roger quickly recovers by leaping up –into the whirring ceiling fan.

The fan spins fast taking the screaming rabbit with him.

"J-j-j-jeeeeeepppeeeeeeerrsss!"

It throws him in an arc around the living room and Roger bounces around the room like a pingpong ball. He knocks down the stands, makes a dent on the walls, crashes the TV, and overturns the furniture in the process before getting shot inside the fireplace –which is lit.

Roger finds the energy to scream again.

"Aaaaaaaugh!"

He flies up the chimney in a pillar of smoke.

Jesse blinks, looking around the destroyed room as though a tornado entered it.

"At least, he didn't wreck the coffee table."

He looks up when he hears something getting louder and louder.

"Aaaaaaaauuuugghh!"

CRASH!

Jesse stares at what used to be a coffee table that is now a rabbit shaped hole in the ground. He looks up the ceiling with the same shaped gaping hole. Roger climbs up in a daze, stars dancing around his head.

"Oh look! Stars!"

Jesse helps him out of the hole, "I wonder what would happen if you and Rhoda are in the same room. You'd probably destroy Labcoat's house."

A door slams open to reveal Mina's pissed face.

"What's going on here? I left you guys alone for a minute-"

"Jeepers, Baby Mina! Jesse and I were just roughhousing," Roger giggles goofily, standing up in his own accord, "Get it?"

"Nice one," Jesse comments, holding up his knuckles for a fistbump at the same time Roger holds his hand up for a high five.

They stare at their raised hands, completely unsure of what to do. Jesse opens his palm up at the same time Roger closes his.

"Boys," Mina mutters as they burst out laughing and bump fist and palm anyway.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"_Bring it on, your jokes and songs_

_You know I'm not the same!"_

Herman opens the door to the living room, hearing the tune of "Merry-go-round Break Down." He looks up to see Rhoda dancing beside a recorder while Jessica watches. Since they're in a toonhouse, the room has fixed itself back together –with a lot of groaning. Rhoda does a pirouette before teetering in one leg while stretching her ears to full length.

"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! These aren't ears! They're brain warmers –if I have one! Whoo-hoo!"

Herman stares at her. His ears heard her words correctly but his brain translated them into Roger's voice and words: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Nice shirt! Who's your tailor? Quasimodo? Whoo-hoo!

Rhoda spots him and hop-dances comically towards him.

"_My buddy, Herman, B._

_As grumpy as he'll be!"_

She swishes her skirt around in a funny caricature of a showgirl.

"_But after this,_

_He won't be dissed_

_For the riot he will see!"_

Herman scowls at her before walking towards the men's room without a word.

"D… E…F…G…H…I…Iiiiiiiiii-"

Herman slams the door close and Rhoda's shoulders slump, her "I" sounding into a sigh.

"Don't mind him," Jessica says looking at Rhoda's despondent posture.

The rabbit walks back to her and plops herself to the sofa beside her.

"I don't get it, Jessica. We were supposed to be each other's alternate versions of our best friends and yet," she sighs again, looking deflated, "He doesn't seem to like me."

Rhoda pauses before looking at her that reminds Jessica of a kicked puppy.

"It's me, isn't it?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Here is what we're going to do: you are going to tell me everything you did in making that machine. I will tell you what I know and what you should do. Then together we'll work it out."

The Mad Scientist smirks, free from the junk that had magically trapped him before.

"I do not understand why you hate my craft. You and I are not so different you know."

Poppy gives him a severe look, "Mad science is a reckless experimentation of the unknown. What I do is just science that other people do not yet have an explanation for. Do not delude yourself."

The scientist grabs his blueprints and spreads them wide, "Ah yes. We're called toons because of our ability to travel in two-dimensional space –like a painting. You and your kind are the only humans who can do the same," he gives her a maniacal grin, "Mary Poppins."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

"Hey Herman!"

"Hey Herman!"

"Hey Herman!"

"Hey Herman!"

Herman clenches the newspaper that he's trying to read, one eye twitching. Without even looking, he knows Rhoda is perched chummily at the armchair's backrest where he is currently sitting.

"Hey Herman!"

He finally turns to her, "WHAT?!"

The rabbit grins sheepishly, giving him a small wave, "Hi."

Herman yells in exasperation and Rhoda zips to the sofa with a bang of a gunshot, in case he decides to whack her with a rolled up newspaper.

"C'mon Herman! Where's your sense of humour?" she chirps as she bounces on the sofa, her rabbit ears whirring like a helicopter's.

"It died when he realizes he can reach the age of fifty but never another milestone," Jessica chimes from beside her.

Herman gives both of them a look that can dry a wet towel.

"Yer light years away from where ya came from and yer worried about my sense of humour?"

Rhoda nods as though her concern is an obvious priority, "Listen, my philosophy is this. If you don't have a sense of humour-"

"-Yer better off dead! Roger said that already," Herman says waving off Rhoda's surprised face.

"Wow, this Roger guy is so like me," the rabbit says with wonder. She turns her head to both of them in each turn, "Can you tell me more about him?"

Jessica opens her mouth but Herman holds up a hand to her without looking at the singer, "Don't. I'd rather not lose my lunch."

She glares at him coolly, "I'm not the only one in here who has a thing for a particular-".

"Herman, the scientist has something to say to all of you."

They all turn to see Poppy with the Mad Scientist.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"So yer sayin' that the machine is run by electricity but it doesn't use electricity to get him home?"

Labcoat nods her head, "Both of them have pushed the right button at the right time when a certain energy was coursing through both realities."

Jesse looks at her, "So what are we going to do?"

The lady scientist whips up a gadget from her coat.

"This device detects the energy signal if it courses through again within a 50-mile radius. And when it does, the machine will be ready."

Mina looks at Labcoat and at her ex-butler suspiciously, "That… seems too easy. We're just going to wait for the right time for Roger to press the button?"

Pop gives Labcoat a look. The Lady in the Labcoat straightens up.

"There is something," she turns to Roger, "that you need to know."

Pop takes out a shot glass and a large bottle of whiskey that would not have fitted his coat pocket. He pours some in the glass and gives it to Roger.

"Here, hold this."

"Pop, are you crazy?" Mina asks, "Remember what happened when Rhoda had a shot?"

Roger backs from the whiskey, "No thanks, Pop. I'm trying to cut down."

"Just hold it."

"When you travelled in here, you went through a wormhole that covered you with a protective layering. But this universe is an anti-matter of your universe. Therefore, there would be a cancellation effect."

Both Jesse and Mina turn to her.

"Cancellation effect?"

"Right now Roger and Rhoda are submerged in matter, including the air molecules surrounding them, that contrasts their own. But in a matter of time, that protective layering will wear off and he will be exposed to our matter."

Mina's heart stops, realization dawning in her, "What would happen then?"

Labcoat takes a deep breath and takes out a calculator, "According to my calculations, if we don't find the energy signal within three hours, Roger and Rhoda will cease to exist."

An ominous silence fills the room. The scientist continues.

"They wouldn't fade away. They'd just," she snaps her fingers, "like that."

A shotglass shatters against the floor.

"I -I'm going to disappear?" Roger asks his eyes wide.

Before the scientist can nod, Roger is up in the air, screaming.

"Aaaaaaaauuuugghhh! Jeepers!" Roger claps his hands on his head, frantically looking around. "What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?!" he runs in panic around the room, "What are we going to doooo-

Pop splashes the whiskey into his mouth. Roger reflexively gulps.

"Everybody, down!" Pop yells as Roger begins to change colour from green to purple to red, looking very sick.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"How did it go in there?"

"Swell. Roger freaked out. Thanks for the alcohol tip, he went limp pretty quickly- well, after he broke every glass in the room."

"No problem," Poppy says on the antique phone, "Thanks for telling me not to make Rhoda drink alcohol. I would have done it if you haven't told me the Christmas Party incident."

Poppy breathes deep and releases it with a sigh, massaging her temples, "Inter-dimensional travel, it's too risky even for us and now…"

"Hey it could have been worse," Pop replies, "How's Rhoda anyway?"

"She went hysterical. But she's okay now."

"You sound like you're downplaying a disaster."

"She accidentally knocked the Mad Scientist out but who's counting that?"

Poppy sighs again as she ends her conversation with her counterpart. She walks out of the secluded room and goes to the living room where her friends are. She stops when she only sees Rhoda and Jessica inside the room with the scientist monitoring the energy detector.

"Where's Herman?"

Jessica points at another door, "He went there."

Poppy looks at the closed door. After Rhoda had calmed down, Herman simply shrugged off the dilemma and made a witty remark on the situation. But Poppy is the few people on earth who never bought bull from Herman.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Herman looks at the reflection of the glass window to see Poppy standing by the door.

"I can pay ya later for your help."

Poppy looks insulted, "You do know I'm not here for the money," she sits from a distance beside him where he's staring at the window.

She decides to be frank with him, "Are you okay?"

Herman only gives her a look before staring back at the window, "What do you think?"

Poppy wisely doesn't answer back but simply takes out her yarn and knitting needles. She begins to hum a sentimental tune as she counts the stitches.

The problem with Herman is that he hides. She closes her eyes, picking up Herman's vibe. Music is just another form of magic.

Then she begins to sing.

"_I know I act like my heart is made of stone"_

Herman recalls Roger cheerfully tossing him up and down. For some odd reason, his brain picked that time to reflect on their friendship and everything slowed down.

"_Without you, I'll probably die alone"_

Herman winces when he remembers the painful crash when Roger's hands slipped.

"_You are a lame-ass doofus"_

He smirks a little when he remembers yelling expletives at a motorcycle gang. They all turned to Roger who had no idea what's happening.

"_An idiot with some screws loose"_

He remembers the time he wants to sink into his suit when he won the Edgar Award. Roger kept yodelling and clapping and hooting "Whoo, Herman!" until Herman yelled "Shaddap, Roger!" as the first words of his thank you speech.

"_But I miss the times I don't miss you at all"_

Herman makes a noncommittal shrug at the memory. Roger also is more than a walking disaster.

"_I remember the first and last I let you drive,_

_We bashed the streets and barely survived"_

The second biggest mistake in his life. After Roger parked the wrecked car by crashing into a brick wall, he happily raises a palm up for a high-five but was wordlessly throttled by Herman who couldn't stop shaking.

"_You made my pressure shoot up high"_

Herman remembers the times Roger would yap endlessly into oblivion. The times they would fly off into the stratosphere because Roger had accidentally blow something up. The times Herman would yell at Roger to put him down every time that rabbit would lift him up in a fit of whatever got him elated.

"_And numerous times I asked God why"_

He remembers the one time they fought. Roger got so upset about it; Herman found him standing outside his trailer on the pouring rain holding a "Sorry" picket sign.

"_But I miss the times I don't miss you at all"_

Herman looks out of the window. The sun is setting down, reminding him of the one time they went to the beach. Roger didn't come back for a long time and Herman grumpily went out to find him before it got dark.

"_So if there is heaven as they say,"_

After a while, he found the rabbit in a distance and Herman called out his name.

"_Please help us get him back today"_

Roger turned and judging by the relieved smile on his face, he got lost- again. Simultaneously, they ran towards each other.

"_He's the biggest pain in my behind"_

When they got nearer, Roger opened his arms wide. Herman leaped up to meet him.

"_But there are ties that strongly bind"_

And Herman gave him a flying kick on the crotch.

Roger doubled over, clutching his jewels. Before Herman could rant on him of having no sense of direction, the rabbit collapsed on top of him.

"_And now you're in Holly_

_In a different reality"_

Herman blinks from the window, looking at the dark sky.

"_I miss the times I don't miss you at all."_

Poppy hums the last few notes. Herman slowly turns his head to look at her. When Poppy opens her eyes, she finds Herman sadly placing a comforting hand on her forearm. Sympathetically, he speaks.

"Yer' out of tune."

Jessica and Rhoda startles when they hear a cry of pain. Poppy huffily strides out of the door. They hear Herman's voice inside the room.

"Hey! Dat's child abuse, lady!"

"That does not apply to you!"

Rhoda turns to Jessica.

"I think I should check on Herman."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"Tape measure saying she's 'practically perfect in every way' my ass," Herman mutters, nursing a bump on his head.

"Herman?"

Herman looks up to see Rhoda at the doorway, looking at him reproachfully.

"What?"

Rhoda hesitates before coming in, "Nothing. I thought I'd check on you."

"Yer not my nanny," he says, turning his back at her.

The rabbit smiles. He's just like Mina, putting up a tough, acerbic front.

Herman can see movement in the corner of his eye and he knows she's sitting nearby. He hears her laugh.

"In another life, I would be, in another show."

Herman finally turns to look at her. She gives him an open smile. He knows he wasn't his best around her but she's still trying hard to reach him.

"In another life," he mutters. Then he shakes his head. She can pop out of existence any time now and she's here checking up on him.

"Aren't ya still scared?" he asks.

Rhoda looks at the window as she becomes quiet.

"I am about disappearing," she finally says, "But I'm more scared about not seeing Mina and-" she stops before pushing forward again with her words, "Jesse again."

Herman watches her hugs herself when she said Jesse's name. But even he can tell that she's only half-aware of her actions.

"There are some things I never told him that I wish I did," she continues, her eyes distracted.

The "Baby" looks away, digesting her words.

_There are some things I never told him that I wish I did._

"Hey," he says and Rhoda turns to look at him, "Can I pretend yer Roger? Just for a minute."

Rhoda looks at him in surprise but nods in acquiescence. Herman stands up and turns to face her. Already he feels stupid but he's not going to back down now.

"Roger," he says. Rhoda watches him curiously as his eyes become fixated on the ground, "I know we were not in the best of terms when I stormed out on ya. I'm," he grits his teeth, "I'm sorry I blew ya off. I mean," he gestures clumsily with his hands, "I know ya said Halloween's our thing but I didn't even tell ya why I don't want to do it anymore."

Aggravated, he starts pacing while his hands gesticulate, not able to look at her, "It's for a very stupid reason but I wished I told ya before all of this 'cancelling thing' happened then maybe," his hands wave around irritably before he drops his arms forcefully and finally looks at her, "I can describe myself as a person who doesn't treat his friends like shit! I'm a horrible person already!"

His fists clench, "I don't want this ending with me treating you like crap, you idiot! So get home, damnit!"

Herman's ends his words with a large exhale of frustration. Shit, he's not sniffing. It's just the damn allergies.

A pair of warm hands claps his shoulders. Herman looks up to see Rhoda looking gently down at him.

"Herman," she says, "On behalf of Roger and if he is like me and I am like him, Roger never saw it like that. And you know what?" she smiles at him, "I see Mina as a good person and I bet Roger sees you the same way too."

Herman stares at her, letting her words settle in. He stares at her gentle smile that is directed at him, the light illuminating her white fur with a glow and her floaty ears framing her face like wings of a celestial being. She looks-

"Huuwwweeeerrrkk!"

"Ew! Herman, are you alright?" Rhoda asks, dodging his vomit.

She looks like Roger.

Poppy bursts inside the room, "We got an energy signal! But we'll need to drive to get there!"

"How much time do we have?"

She looks at them grimly, "Not enough."

* * *

**Author's Note: **It's up to you what's going on in Herman. Poor him.

I don't know why Jesse and Herman suddenly had a swordfight inside my head.

**To those who didn't get it, Poppy is Mary Poppins. She can travel in drawings and can bring normal people to two dimensions and she also sings. I know the song above isn't her style but she's singing out Herman's feelings so the song is slightly crude.**

Song is inspired by Phineas and Ferb "When We Didn't Get Along"

If you wanna see the whole version of Roger's song, search** "Roger Rabbit Music Video Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" in You Tube.**

Who knows what happens when Rhoda drinks a shot?

Any questions? What do you think? I would love to hear from you :)


	6. Bonus Chapter! Who Framed Rhoda Rabbit

**Chapter 6: Bonus Chapter! Who Framed Rhoda Rabbit**

**Author's Note:** This idea is brought to you by **AnonymousZGirl**. She's the one who suggested the name of Edna Valentine among other things as seen in one of her reviews in this story.

* * *

The detective grumpily settles down on a table not far from Martha Ackme. Of all the crazy tasks that she has to be assigned to, she has to be tied to a case involving an affair between a tooniphile and a toon.

"Edna Valentine!"

Edna turns to see Bruno Boomer, a dashing toon star of the 1920s.

"Bruno? What are you doing here?"

Bruno adjusts his waiter's jacket, "Business has been kind of slow since cartoons went to colour," he gives her a wink and his trademark Bruno Bicep Flex, "But I still got it, Edna."

Edna smiles back, "Yeah, you still got it."

Majority of the female patrons scream making her jump. In a semi-stampede, they rush near the stage. On the front seats, Martha excitedly pats her hair and make-up.

Edna gives Bruno a perplexed look while she jerks her head at Martha, "What's with her?"

Bruno adjusts his tray on his hand, "Ms. Ackme never misses a night when Jesse performs."

Edna's face becomes satiric as she leans on her backrest with her arms folded.

"She has a thing for rabbits, huh?"

Silence hush as a lone spotlight shines centerstage. A clear masculine voice sings out.

"_You have plenty suitors before you were twenty-two"_

The curtains open and Edna's mouth drops in surprise.

"_But they all fall short or made a fool out of you"_

A tall, elegant toon of a man in a red tuxedo stands alone in the center, a band of doves playing jazz behind him. Ginger hair brushes over one emerald eye as he looks at the audience with an intensity that can burn through paper.

"_Let me do you right, unlike the way that they do."_

The women squeal in their thrill, others have long swooned.

"_Come over here"_

One woman reaches up a hand to him but her knees give way when he turns to look at her.

"_Let me show it to you"_

Edna slowly leans to Bruno, not believing her own eyes. A humanoid and a rabbit?

"He's married to Rhoda Rabbit?" she whispers just in case Mauve, the newspapers and everyone who told her so is wrong. Rhoda must have decided to keep her last name.

Bruno's eyes turns dreamy at the rabbit's name."Yeah, what a lucky _goi_."

He gently taps Edna's chin to prevent flies from entering her mouth before walking away.

Jesse walks towards the audience like a lion amongst lionesses –or a meat among she-wolves.

"_Now if you have your wits when you were younger"_

He kneels down to another woman who stares at him, hypnotized. Jesse tips her chin up as he smiles coolly at her.

"_You would have played your cards better"_

He sings as he leaves her to slump on her seat in a dazed manner.

"_Let me do you right_

_Unlike the way that they do"_

Jesse stops at the edge of the stage, looking down at Edna and Martha. He smoothly climbs down from the stage and takes Martha's hand who have flirtatiously held it out to him.

"_Come over here"_

He gives her a look that made her sigh before he kisses her hand.

"_And let me show it to you"_

He looks at Edna who looks back in surprise.

"_Come over here_

_And let me show it to you"_

Before Edna can realize what's happening, Jesse has grabbed the backrest of her chair and tips her backwards. She gives a gasp of surprise as she finds herself staring at his emerald eyes.

"_Let me do you right_

_Unlike the way that they- "_

He leans closer and for all of her reflexes, Edna's mind becomes blank.

"_Do…"_

He slowly leans her upright again as he backs away, leaving Edna feel like she had ran for miles.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Edna curses the menopausal butch of a gorilla under her breath. Using her acrobatic skills, she hangs herself upside-down outside Jesse's dressing room window.

Her eyes widen with surprise when she sees what's happening inside.

"I don't believe this," she mutters as she takes picture after picture of the bawdy scene.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

"Patty-cake! Patty-cake!" Rhoda bawls miserably as she pounds the window where Ackme Factory can be seen across the road.

She drops down and slumps on Mauve's table, "This is my entire fault! I let this happen!"

Mauve pats her shoulder sympathetically, giving her her own napkin. Edna watches them apathetically. It's amazing how Mauve can revert from a shrewd CEO who convinced her to accept the job to a compassionate pro-toon Mother Goose.

Rhoda blows her nose with the same pitch as that of an elephant, "I should have seen it coming! He'd been coming home late at night! I'd wake up and he wouldn't be there! I should have hic! I should have hic! I should have-" she suddenly makes a sound of a dying animal, pounding her yellow-gloved fists on the table.

Edna looks at her as though she _is _a dying animal. Mauve gingerly takes away her soiled napkin and throws it in the trash.

The rabbit lifts herself from the table as though the act alone costs tremendous effort, "I can't believe it! My Jesse isn't like that! He isn't so!"

Edna rolls her eyes. _Toons, _she thought.

"You better believe it, girl. I took the pictures myself," she holds out the photos to the rabbit who looks at her like a baby seal about to be clubbed, "Your husband played patty-cake."

Rhoda holds the photos away as though they are unholy while she flips through them. She shakes her head through the whole process as she speaks, her ears swishing rapidly.

"No. No. No. No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! It can't be! Jesse's my husband! It's just absolutely impossible!"

She drops the photos as she collapses on her knees.

"I can't believe it! I don't want to believe it!" she says clutching herself as she rocks back and forth, "Jesse's the man of my life, the prince of my story, the knight of my chess pieces!"

It hurt Edna not to roll her eyes. There are two things she can't stand: toons and emotional women. Right now, this rabbit is both. She takes a shot of Scotch to make her tolerate the situation.

"Well, you better start playing without one 'cause Ackme got that piece now."

"It's so hard to believe it," Mauve says sympathetically, as she helps Rhoda to her office chair, "Martha has been my friend and neighbour for 30 years. Who would have thought she's a couger?"

"Jesse wouldn't do this to me," Rhoda wails weakly, her lips trembling, "Did I push him to do this? Have I been focusing too much on my career? Have I been letting myself go? Is there something wrong with me?"

Edna bites down a remark that would not end the conversation well.

_Women,_ she thought.

Mauve soothingly rubs her back, "Oh no, sweetie! Don't blame yourself! That Jesse is a cad! You've got no one to blame but him!"

Rhoda looks down, a hollow look on her eyes, "Jesse isn't a cad."

_Then what kind of a husband flirts to make a living among other things? _Edna thought, taking another shot. At least Mauve got alcohol in her office.

"Oh, dearie. I know this is painful for you," Mauve takes the Scotch out of Edna's hands and pours a shot.

"Here, girl, take this. It will make you feel better."

Rhoda blearily grabs the shotglass and drinks it straight.

She throws the glass away. Her arms drop limply to her sides as she stands there with her back on them.

Edna pauses in mid-drink. Nothing seems to change as expected from toons. But something feels different. Edna swears in surprise when Mauve suddenly grabs her and ducks for cover.

A soft and lethal voice ensues from outside their hiding place.

"That cheating scum."

BAM!

The detective yells in shock as dust and debris fly everywhere. When the dust settles down, both Edna and Mauve straighten up to see a pile of wooden chips where the office table used to be. Rhoda stands there panting with one smoking fist dangling uselessly on her side.

Then without warning, she collapses out cold on the ground.

"Son of a…" Edna says, a bit breathless. Talk about violent mood swings.

Mauve comes to Rhoda's aid, "I do apologize for this, Ms. Valentine. But Rhoda needs to let it all out."

Edna shrugs it off. She has worked with toons before.

"My job here is done. What about that carrot you owed me?"

Mauve gives her a check, "A deal's a deal," she says primly.

A groan sounds out and they both look at the prone rabbit.

"Oooohh… Hangover," she says sitting up.

Rhoda sniffs, putting her face to her hands. Edna can't decide if she looks like a puppy left out in the pouring rain or the worst example of the jilted lover.

"You okay, dear?" Mauve asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. The rabbit shakes her head.

"What am I going to do?" she whimpers.

Edna pauses in patting her check inside her pocket.

"What are you going to do? Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.

Rhoda weakly looks up to her but then cries in surprise as the pictures slap her across the face.

"Pull yourself together, you crazy toon!" Edna says, whacking her with each word.

Rhoda looks at her in shock and Edna can see she got her attention.

"You're not the first girl whose husband cheated on her and the heck will you even be the last!"

Edna points a finger at her.

"You'd do what every woman who has hired me would do when I caught their men with their pants down! You're going to confront him, kick him out of the house, destroy his belongings and slap him with a divorce! You'd get over him and life goes on 'cause this ain't a cartoon!"

Mauve tries to placate her, "Ms. Valentine, I think that's a bit too early to tell her tha-"

"You're right."

Mauve looks at her with surprise.

"I should move on," Rhoda says, more to herself, "I can do this," she straightens up, "It's time to face facts, cut ties, break clean. I –I don't matter to him anymore. I'm a strong woman, I can do this."

"I mean, I'd probably never love again. I'd probably become a crazy cat lady –a crazy rabbit lady, a crazy rabbit cat lady, a crazy rabbit lady cat. But I can do this. Yeah, I can."

Then her eyes clear, "Why am I the one acting like I suffered a loss? He's the one who cheated on me! I don't deserve him! And you know what?"

She pumps her fist determinedly, her fluffy cottontail poofing up with a fight; "He made his decision when he played patty-cake and it's time I make mine!"

She slams the door as she leaves the room.

A few seconds later, they suddenly hear someone wailing miserably outside the door.

Edna gives the door a withering stare, "That's her decision?"

Mauve looks at what remains of the table before turning to Edna, "At least she took it well."

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

"I was going to confront him so I ran to the CharCOAL -" Edna leaps at her like a cat and Rhoda jumps up, covering herself modestly when Edna flies by underneath, "-Groove! But he wasn't there so I wrote him a let-you-go letter!"

Edna climbs up into a sitting position, panting and certain that someone above has a sadistic sense of humour –most especially aimed at her.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me in a fit of righteous anger, you're just letting him go?"

Rhoda nods from the bed, "That's right! I'm leaving him. I'm leaving him the house, the car, the-"

Edna slaps a hand over her eyes. Which saint did she annoy up there again?

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

"Drink the drink!"

"She doesn't want the drink!" Lady Doom says impatiently.

Edna raises a brow, "You don't?"

"I do!"

The Lady Judge watches them banter back and forth. She's about to dunk the doe headfirst to end the shenanigans when Rhoda speaks out indignantly.

"Listen, when I say yes, that means yes!"

She grabs the drink from Edna's hand and drinks it in one gulp.

Rhoda throws the glass away and hangs limp in Doomie's grip. Her head bows, covering her eyes with her ginger bangs.

Satisfied that it's over, Lady Doom lifts her up. But then a soft lethal voice speaks out from the flaccid rabbit.

"Edna, back off a little. I can't see straight."

Like greased lightning, Rhoda is suddenly out of Doomie's fist. Eyes blazing with fire, she lets out a warcry as she brings her fist down on the wooden boards between her and the Judge.

Tremors exploded on the ground making everyone fall to their butts. Lady Doom stumbles backward over the factory girls. She can see Edna take advantage of the diversion by beating out the Weaselettes.

Edna throws the Weaselette ringleader over her shoulder. Rhoda teeters dangerously to the jagged hole she has made but Edna grabs her before she can collapse.

"Gotcha!"

The Judge grips the handle of her long black umbrella. Swishing her long black coatdress, she leaps over the gaping crack on the bar.

Slinging the passed-out rabbit on her shoulder, Edna runs off, dumping the Dip towards Lady Doom.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Of all the places to hide, Brenda the Cab took them in a movie theatre. Toons.

"What's the matter with you? You're supposed to be hiding!" Edna snaps, flicking Rhoda on the forehead.

"Ow!" the rabbit exclaims then looks at her in confusion, "What's wrong with you? You're the only person in this theatre who looks like they found a rock in their Scotch. Is there nothing that than penetrate your granite grumpiness?"

"Hey Edna!"

She suddenly ballooned up her cheeks and presses it with both fists to make a farting sound with a cock-eyed expression.

"Geez, nothing," Rhoda says thoughtfully when Edna simply rolls her eyes, "What could have possibly happened to have turned you into such a grouchy grandma?"

Edna's mouth opens indignantly to tell her she's not _that_ old but thought better of it.

"You really want to know?"

Rhoda nods with large curious eyes.

"A toon killed my sister."

The rabbit covers her eyes in dismay, "A toon? No."

Edna sighs as she shuffles in her seat, "That's right, a toon."

"We were investigating a robbery at the First International Bank in Cartoon City."

The detective stoically looks ahead, "Back in those days, Terry and I like working in Cartoon City. Thought it was a bundle of laughs. Anyway, this toon," Edna takes out her flask of wine, "Got away with a zillion smiley-eons," she shakes her head as she gives a humourless laugh.

"We trailed that toon to a little dive down Yuckster Street. We went in," she says tonelessly, "Only she got the bomb on us –literally. Toss a bundle of dynamite at us. Gave me burns. Terry never made it. I never found out who that toon was."

The more time that passes, the duller the pain. But Edna knows it will always be there.

"All I remember was, she was standing in front of me laughing with that burning red eyes and that deep gutteral voice. She disappeared into Cartoon City after that."

Edna looks beside her in surprise when she hears someone bawling plus the sudden spray of wetness on her sleeve.

Tears rain down from Rhoda who is using both of her ears as hankies, "No wonder you don't like me! If a toon killed my sister, I'd hate myself too!"

Edna rolls her eyes at her logic, "I don't hate you."

"You do!"

"C'mon!"

"You do hate me! Or you wouldn't have yelled at my ears all those times!" she cries, tugging her own ears.

Oh, right. Rabbits have a more sensitive hearing, even toon ones.

"Well, I'm sorry I yelled at your ears."

Rhoda looks at her with sparkly, hopeful eyes.

"All those times you yelled at me?"

Edna looks away with amused exasperation for a moment before turning back at her.

"All those times I yelled at you."

"Aaaawww…." Rhoda exclaims, touched. Then she spread her arms wide with a leap in her direction, "Friendship hug!"

"No," Edna says flatly, stopping Rhoda by holding her on the face without as much as a glance in her direction.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

_Someone's seems to be on a Diet of Delusions of Grandeur_, Jesse thinks, watching this madwoman talk about freeways and billboards and visions.

CRASH!

Something heavy drops down through the ceiling. In the midst of the showering debris, Rhoda drops down from the sky before glaring up at them with fire in her blue eyes.

"Alright, Weaselettes! Let those guns go or let the judge have it! You heard me! I said drop it!"

Her name escapes his lips before Jesse can stop himself.

"Rhoda!" he exclaims, relief and joy heard by every toon and human inside the Ackme factory.

Blue eyes swivel at him with a dangerous heat he never saw in her before.

"_You_."

She stalks towards him and with surprising force, Jesse finds himself yanked down to her level by his black tie. Blue eyes spark at him with all the fire of a burning pagan sacrifice.

"I would love to deal with you right now. But first-" she swings her gun at the weasels as they advance at her, "I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage!"

Rhoda is mad. Rhoda has a gun. But Jesse is too used to the unquestionable logic of love to think it's somehow strange to see how beautiful his angry wife can be with a gun. She even has that cute angry pout.

Lady Doom towers her, "Put the gun down, you harebrained ditz!"

The rabbit points her gun at her and the judge backs away.

"Go on, Doomie! Give me another reason to punch you full of lead! You thought you can have your cake and eat it too, didn't you? Ha!"

She's sick of humans treating toons like they're pawns in their games for money and power. This "Judge" for toons is no different. Rhoda continues to advance to her, pointing the gun at her direction.

"Us toons may act asinine –but we're not stupid! We demand justice! Why, I bet if you stop to think about the meaning of justice, you'd get all tied up!"

A rope suddenly loops around her waist. Before Rhoda can yell in surprise, she's suddenly attacked by a female weasel. A great cloud of dust balloons in a flurry of limbs, rope and name-calling. When the dust settles down, the weasel is standing over a rabbit bound hand and foot.

"Rhoda!"

Jesse rushes over to check on her and the weasels surrounded them.

"Tie the lovebirds together," the Judge says, walking towards the Dip Truck control.

A fat weasel in a childish dress grabs Rhoda. The rabbit keeps her expression stony. Just when she's itching to confront Jesse face-to-face, she feels herself placed on Jesse back-to-back.

"Put them up on that hook! Use that escape-proof toon rope!"

The female weasel with the nicotine problem ties a rope around Rhoda's chest and Jesse's waist while another one in a sleek green leathercoat points a blade at them.

The machine begins to hum.

"Time to kill the rabbit," a psychedelic-eyed weasel in a hospital gown says in sing-song voice before giggling girlishly in a creepy way.

The crane lifts them up and Rhoda clenches her fists when she feels a pair of hands attempt to hold them.

"Do not talk to me," she says in a tone that freezes both of his shoulders –literally.

Jesse cranes his neck to look at her but all he can see are long, furry ears. She doesn't attempt to move her hands away when he covers them with his own. But then, it might be because they're tied together.

An engine roars to life, making him look up. He doesn't need to be an engineer to know what the hose-pipe attached to the truck is for. Any minute now, they'd be the first toons to be erased out of existence before Cartoon City.

"Rhoda."

Rabbit ears twitch at her name but Rhoda stubbornly looks ahead.

"I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any man's ever loved a rabbit."

Jesse feels her hands clench tighter inside his palms. Then Rhoda does something Mina thought she isn't capable of: sarcasm.

"Plus other women of other species too, obviously."

Something inside his gut twists at her voice devoid of colour. He grips her hands as though that could stop her from distancing herself from him.

"You are my wife," Jesse says quietly even though no one but them could hear him.

Rhoda is all too aware of his grip that intensified at those words but not enough to hurt her. He continues to talk.

"I'd never do anything to hurt you but," he looks down, "Mauve threatened me to get to Martha Ackme."

He wonders if she'll believe him. R.K. Mauve has worked with toons all her life. She treats Rhoda and every toon star employee in a motherly manner. Even he couldn't believe it at first when he was secretly called to her office for "a favour".

Jesse says the words that he's sure would be the final nail to the coffin of their marriage.

"She threatened my by saying she'd never let you work in her studios again if I won't do it."

She'd never believe him. Mauve has a good reputation among toons and the pictures taken by Edna are too hard of an evidence to be questioned. He grips her hands tighter, memorizing every bump of her knuckles down to the feel of her gloves, feeling something die inside him. This could be the last time that he can possibly hold her.

"I'm sorry, Rhoda."

He closes his eyes, preparing himself for the final blow.

Rhoda bits her lip, hardly aware of Edna and the Judge talking. Mina once said never cry in front of a man –especially in front of someone who breaks your heart. But she isn't facing Jesse, is she?

Silence stretches painfully as Rhoda continues to be unresponsive. But then a trembling voice speaks out, weak and vulnerable.

"Is it true? What you've said?"

Jesse tries to look at her, not daring to believe.

"Yes."

Everyone on the ground look up when they hear a solid sound followed by a cry of surprise.

"That's for letting your principles slide!" Rhoda yells.

She hits the back of her head against his back again.

"That's for doing it for my sake!"

She hits the back of her head against his back again.

"That's for not telling me!"

The weasels below hoot with laughter and begin to egg her on.

"Yeah, girl!"

"Hit him for being a playah!"

"Whoo! S and M!"

"I wouldn't mind a free show if they can do it in mid-air!"

"Kick him in the nuts!"

They begin to laugh uncontrollably when Rhoda starts to yell childish profanities at him like A-hole, sheepdip and firetrucking custard.

"Look out, you fool!" the Judge yells.

The female weasel in the white pantsuit turns just in time to catch Edna from stealing her gun.

"One of these days, you idiots are going to split your sides from laughter!"

Edna, who has been too busy holding up her hands, look up with realization.

"Shall I let her 'rest' now, boss?" White pantsuit asks.

The Judge's face turns into a sneer, "Let her watch her friends get dipped then shoot her," she says, leaving the room with a turn of her cloak.

Jesse tries not to wince, feeling the brunt of her battery. Rhoda does not pay attention to what was happening down on the ground.

BUMP!

"That's for making me faint!"

BUMP!

"That's for kidnapping me!"

She's starting to see stars as she headbash him again.

"That's for me waking up in the trunk of our car!"

After running out of artillery accusations, she wordlessly bangs her head against his spine some more before pausing to catch her breath.

Rhoda freezes when she feels his finger brush her ring beneath her glove. Even after all that has happened, she never thought about taking it off. Even after the lies, the truths and the twisted games that toons and humans play, everything is still the same. She still-

He gives a sharp intake of breath when her fingers loosen and link around his. Jesse feels his heart beat faster with every second that colour with hope.

"I love you," she says quietly.

Jesse blankly stares ahead with the happiest disbelief he never felt before.

He has heard her say those words a thousand times and every time she does, it damn near breaks his heart. For they all have one thing in common: she means it. But he never heard her say it so solemnly like an oath.

"And if we ever survived this," she continues and Jesse cranes his neck to hear her better.

Rhoda angles her head to glare at him, "I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU INTO A BLOODY PULP, JESSE KRUPNIK! I swear!" she yells, a spray of spit flying from her mouth.

They sway a bit as Rhoda tries to kick him backwards, "I'm going to kick your fanny! Your pompom! Your posteriority! They won't even need to frame me for murder! You are so dead when I-"

Jesse happily drinks in her ranting; something very heavy lifted from his chest. He got her back –angry, yelling and homicidal but he's still hers and he can die a happy man right now.

_But of course_, he thinks as the hose-pipe rises towards them, _I prefer not to_.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Edna wipes her bloodied lip before manipulating the control to lower their crane.

"Jinkies, Edna!" Rhoda says, leaping up to hug her as soon as Edna unties her, "For a moment I thought we're going to get buttered!"

Edna then unties Jesse next.

"Thanks," he said, dropping down on the ground.

He straightens up to find Rhoda in front of him. She looks up to him with a teary-eyed smile.

"Jesse."

Edna flinches at the sound of someone having debilitating dyspepsia or a bloody scream. Rhoda flings herself at him and Jesse catches her around the waist just in time. She begins to thump him hard in the chest with both fists.

"Don't you ever do something that stupid again, you… you misguided martyr! You could have told me about Mauve! We could have done something about it together! You're a-"

_That's beating him into a bloody pulp?_ Edna thinks watching them. She decides to check the scene around to give them some privacy. Of course, it doesn't stop her from hearing Rhoda or the pounding she's giving with every word she's saying.

"I thought you were a –I thought you have –Eaarrgh! I'm so mad at you I can divorce you right –Mmmph!"

Edna turns around to see Jesse have pulled Rhoda flush against him and kissing her like there's no tomorrow. She shakes her head, turning around again.

Rhoda lets him kiss her before she gently pushes him away with a hand on his chest.

"You're still sleeping on the couch tonight," she says with that cute angry pout before the toons come in to the scene of the crime.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I can never measure up to the movie but I did my best to the alternate versions of some of the scenes.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and just like Jessica, Rhoda's a feisty redhead.

That is why Pop advises Poppy NOT to let Rhoda drink even a shot of alcohol.

I would like to apologize if I ruined your expectations of how the alternate movie would go but I would be happy to read them if you would post them.

What do you think? I would love to hear from you


	7. Final Destination- Home or Oblivion

**Chapter 7: Final Destination- Home or Oblivion  
**

"How long is this damn road anyway?! Why did you have to take 'The Sunny Side of the Street' Street?!"

After they all piled into Labcoat's car (which is surprisingly normal), they have zoomed off toward the energy signal.

Unfortunately, Labcoat passed through the said street that puts all cars in pace with the slow, mellow music of the singing trees and dancing flowers.

Silence settles inside as they sit through the beat, their panicked minds tuning in with the slow rhythm.

Jesse turns to Mina.

"I hope your counterpart isn't hitting on Rhoda."

"What?" she asks incredulously, she jerks her thumb at Roger, "Do you even see me hitting on that? No offense, though," she says quickly, turning to Roger.

Rabbit ears wave off her concern, "None taken."

Mina leans towards Roger with a staged whisper, "He has always been the jealous type."

"I am not the jealous type," Jesse says calmly but nonetheless, with a frown, "Rhoda is super-friendly-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

Rhoda swivels her head at Herman's car window, "Wow! I think those are Kit E. and Goody's boy versions!"

Herman looks at the window to see Wile E. Coyote and Goofy walking on the sidewalk. He yelps when Rhoda suddenly clambers on top of his legs to squeeze her upper half out of the window.

"Hi guys!" she waves at them enthusiastically.

Pissed, Herman looks up to berate her to stop maiming his legs. But then he stops.

_Where are all those sparkles coming from?_

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-unconsciously cute," Jesse continues.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"As you can see," Wile says to Goofy, "the human law of physics state that force is equal to mass times acceleration. But as a toon, we can intensify that acceleration to create a force that the audience, which are the humans, would be surprised of and therefore be amused with."

"Gawrsh, Wile! That stuff behind what we can do sounds great. But I just let it happen."

"Hi guys!"

Wile and Goofy looks at the strange rabbit girl with stunned confusion as she gives them a window-washer wave.

"A-hyuk!" Goofy exclaims, giving her a dreamy wave of his own.

Wile continues to walk while staring.

"Goofy, why is there a more than adequately attractive girl waving –Aaugh!"

He cries out in pain followed by the sound of a "Goofy holler".

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-Has no concept of personal space-"

Mina rolls her eyes, "I got rib fractures to prove that."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Rhoda flinches when she sees Wile hits a lamppost and Goofy falls into a manhole.

"Wow, I never thought they're clumsy in this reality," she says.

"Get off me!" Herman yells as he wriggles out from under her. He huffily sits in the center, leaving the window side for Rhoda.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-And her fluffy cottontail brings attention to her rear."

Roger squirms; being a guy _and_ a rabbit, he can understand that.

**_Across the Alternate_**

Rhoda looks out of the window with her trunk still leaning out of the car, her cottontail swishing curiously.

Herman slaps both hands on his face and slowly drags them down. This has to be karma biting him in the ass for all those times he'd been _less nice_ to women.

"Will you sit down?!" he yells, refusing to look at Rhoda's side –or precisely her…

"Okay, okay!" Rhoda gets back inside the car, "Jinkies, Baby Herman! Don't yell too much, you're red already," her blue eyes fill with concern, "Are you okay?"

Jessica puts a hand on her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

"Can you tell me more about Roger?" Rhoda asks, trying to stir Herman's funny mood swings.

**_Across the Alternate_**

Mina rolls her eyes and gives Roger a wiseguy look, "Jealous type, in short."

The rabbit stares at them, digesting what Jesse said. He puts his yellow-gloved hands on his chest.

"Even _I'm_ not that oblivious!"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"He's as BLIND AS A ROCK," Herman says, spelling out his point, "Once; there was this gold-digger who thought he'd be an easy picking."

Then he starts to snicker, "It hurt to keep a straight face the whole time she was trying to seduce him. Roger thought she's just a very friendly girl."

Herman snorts with laughter, "She got so mad, she slapped him across the face before storming out!" he gasps, holding his stomach as a fit of laughter overcomes him.

"How friendly did she get?" Jessica asks in a casual manner that would have made smart people back away.

Herman snorts, "Then what, Jessica? Yer goin' to ask for her name and address?"

"Herman…" Rhoda says in a placating tone.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Sometimes I got the feeling Herman doesn't approve of my friendship with Jessica at first," Roger says thoughtfully, "He never said it out loud but he used to act like I'm Little Red Riding Hood and Jessica's the Big Bad Wolf."

Mina and Jesse look at each other at the same time –one a look of suspicion while the other shrewdly.

"Oh, I'm sure Herman's got every right to be suspicious," Mina says, "Some people spell trouble after all."

"But those suspicions are not at all accurate in the end," Jesse says in an almost snooty manner.

"Don't worry; I never saw you and Rhoda that way," Mina says, casually checking her fingernails, "Although I always wondered why Little Miss Sunshine befriended Mr. Ice-Prince-with-a-Popsicle-up-in-his-"

"Mina!" Roger interrupts.

They all lurch forward as they turn to another street devoid of the mellow music.

"Finally! I never thought we'd get to the-"

They turn around the corner to face miles and miles of traffic that can be seen from the windshield.

Mina lets out a string of curses.

"Jesse! Take the wheel!" Pop says climbing out of the passenger seat.

"It's my car!" Labcoat protests.

"And Jesse's the best driver that can swerve around this mess," Pop replies, taking out an umbrella that would not have fitted inside his coat jacket.

"Hey, where you going?" Roger asks.

Pop looks at them mysteriously, "I'll catch up with you," he says before he tosses the detector to Roger.

Roger climbs into the passenger seat as Labcoat begrudgingly exchange seats with Jesse.

Mina rolls her eyes at the ridiculousness of the past conversation, "Let me assure you, Jesse. There is no way I'm going to hit on Rhoda as a guy."

Jesse starts the car, "You're a couger, Mina. What are the odds your counterpart is a saint?"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Holy-" Herman yells as Jessica defies the human laws of physics by swerving the car around the traffic with lightning speed.

"Wow! You sure can drive!" Rhoda exclaims, holding on the dashboard.

"Of course," Jessica says, cutting sharply around the corner, "My honey bunny's never good behind the wheel."

Rhoda chuckles as everything around them becomes a blur, "Better lover than a driver, huh?"

Jessica gives Rhoda the smile of a cat that ate the canary _and_ got the cream.

The rabbit blushes at her expression.

"Oh."

She's still smiling at her when she dodges an incoming eight-wheeler without so much of a glance to the windshield.

**_Across the Alternate_**

Poppy lands gently on top of the cloud and she closes her umbrella. She looks down and she can see Badlands, a toon desert, stretching as far as the eye can see.

She faces the winds, letting it flap her dress. The energy is here, alright. Usually, she would let the winds take her wherever she's needed. But tonight, it's a special case.

_You can never control the Old Winds. But they'll listen if you'll ask please._

**_Across the Alternate_**

"It's a dead end!"

"No, it's not! We'll have to get across that alley to get to the Badlands!"

Jessica looks up. The sky is dark with clouds that seem to be rushing into the said dessert.

They all get out of the car and Rhoda hops out, bounding up and down.

"Guys, I'll go on ahead!"

"Uhm, Rhoda," Jessica says, "Maybe, you shouldn't jump so high, you're wearing a skirt."

"Oh don't worry," Rhoda replies, she lifts up her skirt to reveal a pair of black tap shorts, "I'm wearing shorties!" she exclaims before bouncing off.

Jessica blinks, "You got to admit, she's got nice legs," she says turning to Herman.

Herman slaps a hand over his eyes –hard.

"I'm going to need therapy after this."

"EEEeeeekkkk!"

"Rhoda!"

They all rush into the dark alley.

A blur ran towards them and Rhoda appears behind Jessica's legs, shaking. Soon, a menacing group of figures approach them. A burly cat-like toon emerges from the darkness.

"Well, well. What do we have here?"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Look what got into our turf, ladies," a tall, Amazonian wild cat sneers.

Mina pushes her way to the front, "Look, lady. We don't have time for-"

The wild cat takes out a pistol, silencing Mina.

"A baby, an ugly nerd, a cock-eyed rabbit and oh- _hello,_" the ringleader says flirtatiously as her eyes land on Jesse.

Jesse narrows her eyes at her. Mina's right, they're losing time with every second they're dealing with them. He looks around at the others, who are equally or less menacing than the leader –their eyes glowing in the dim lights.

The wildcat suddenly points her gun at Roger whose eyes are lock on it, "Stop that teeth-chattering, knock-kneeing rattling or I'll shoot ya, you rabbit!"

Roger, even in a fit of fear, could not resist, "Okay, but you're so tall, you'll have to point directly to the ground and I'm so short, I'll have to put a target on top of my head! Then I'll run around in circles around ya while you try to shoot it just to be fair!"

Silence ensues while the image runs inside their minds. The ringleader suddenly bursts out laughing, followed by the rest of the gang.

Roger grins, "Or I can run around in stilts just for ya! What do you say?"

**_Across the Alternate_**

The burly wild cat eyes both Rhoda and Jessica, "A sweetie and a sexy. A cutie and a hottie."

Rhoda cowers behind Jessica, who shrinks back when he steps closer.

"P-p-please sir! We really need to get through!" Rhoda says, her ears drooping. Jessica glares at him defiantly.

"I'm going to ask you to step aside," she says coldly.

"Or what?" the ringleader asks. The rest of the gang hoot with laughter, their eyes glowing as he suddenly reaches for Jessica-

POW!

They all blink. The rabbit hangs in midair for a moment, one leg outstretched and sunk deeply into the face of the gang leader.

The ground quakes when his entire 6-foot frame fell down flat. Rhoda lands on top of him and stands up, glaring at him.

"Don't you dare mess with my girl friend who could have been my girlfriend if I were the boy!" she yells, defiantly swinging an arm away.

The gang fall silent in confusion.

Herman rolls his eyes, "Oh no, that doesn't sound weird at all."

Then he realizes something, "Wait, you know how to fight?" Roger does not know how to fight. Herman even saw him get beaten up by a punching bag.

Jessica looks at him as though he should have known something so common.

"Humans think it's funny when toon girls can kick butt, Herman," she says while taking out a frying pan out of her purse.

Rhoda holds up her fists in a Bunny Boxer stance and stamps one foot forward, her gloves suddenly are yellow fingerless leather motorcyclist's gloves.

"Then get ready, 'cause I'm about to get hilarious!"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-and I said, 'Man, whoever's the rabbit that owned that foot, isn't so lucky!'"

A ring of laughter echoes inside the alley. Jesse looks around. The girl gang is now relaxed and in a good mood. He never likes it, but charming ladies does have its advantages. Plus, now's the time swaying them has the fullest effect.

"Ladies," he says smoothly, "We'd love to stay and chat but we are in a hurry. So if we could be excuse…" he gives them a disarming smile that literally made them drop their weapons.

The ringleader looks back at her gang, "Well, we do have places to go. We'll let you slide- for now," she purrs with a bat of her eyelashes, "Let's roll, girls!"

The pack of wildcats walks past them after picking up their weapons again. Roger, Jesse, Mina and Labcoat look at each other before sighing in relief. They all move forward to the Badlands.

"Hey!"

Roger turns around to see a female wildcat walks back to them. She places a piece of paper on Roger's chest, leaning forward to him.

"Tell your handsome friend that he can call me," she purrs, "Or…" her eyes linger down to his pants before meeting his eyes again, "So can you."

She bounds off, her fluffy tail high.

Roger turns back to his friends, his expression uncomfortable.

"What a … very friendly girl."

Mina smirks, "Who knew being funny can get you lai- YIKES!"

Roger suddenly grabs Mina and runs off toward the energy signal, "Time to go now!"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Are you all alright? Did anyone get hurt?" Rhoda asks, her big blue eyes filled with concern.

Herman, Jessica and the Mad Scientist stare at her speechlessly. Surrounding the rabbit are the knocked out bodies of what used to be a menacing pack of hoodlums.

"We got less than fifteen minutes if you still want to live!" Herman snaps, "How far do we still have to go?"

The scientist checks the detector, "Less than a hundred metres," he says calmly, as though matters of life and death are everyday occurrences.

Rhoda scoops up Herman and puts him on her shoulders, "This is how Mina and I usually travel," she explains before she bounds off, the others following in tow.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOX**

The winds howl as they find themselves in the middle of the desert. Heavy clouds shift with an unseen wind that soon brings flashes of lightning. Although the weather report states there's no storm, they're not surprised if thunder would soon follow after.

Rabbit ears flap rapidly with the wind as Rhoda shields her eyes from the sifting sand.

"Here! Wear this!" the Mad Scientist yells, giving her his invention.

"What's that?" Jessica asks, putting her hands over her legs against the wind flying her dress.

"It's what will take her home!" the scientist answers back, hooking the machine around her chest like putting on a backpack backwards.

"Guys!"

They all turn to see Poppy with a lighted helmet walking towards them.

"Poppy!" Rhoda exclaims, "Where you've been?"

Poppy smiles mysteriously, "Buying some time," she says cryptically. Old Winds are rare and ancient, they can almost do the impossible –like hold energy, "You got precisely three minutes to say goodbye."

Jessica suddenly scoops Rhoda up into a hug. She gently rubs her face against fur that seems so familiar.

"I'm going to miss you but I already miss my honey bunny so much."

Rhoda grins, wrapping her arms around her in return, "Ditto," she says, pecking her in the cheek.

Jessica gently puts Rhoda down, "Hold on a sec," she says.

She takes of the rabbit's polka-dot bow tie and ties it jauntily on the base of Rhoda's right ear.

"Just a new look to remember me by."

Rhoda kneels down to face Herman.

Herman looks at her. Rhoda is cute, sweet and funny but there are too many buts, primarily Roger being the one big butt, to even think in _that_ direction.

Rhoda giggles when Herman ruffles her ginger hair.

"Stay good, kid," he says.

She suddenly scoops him up into a hug and twirls a bit before putting him down. Herman shakes his head at her antics but suddenly stiffens in surprise when Rhoda gives him a peck on the cheek.

"Bye, Herman."

**_Across the Alternate_**

"It would be impolite not to say goodbye before you leave," Pop says.

Labcoat fits Roger her gadget and he turns to look at them one last time.

"I guess this is it," Jesse says, holding up a fist.

Roger high fives it with an open palm, "It's been swell."

He suddenly scoops up Mina who yelps in surprise, "I can't wait to tell ya all back home!"

Mina gives him a good natured punch in the chest that Roger is sure will come out as a bruise the next morning.

"Take care, son."

He puts Mina down on the ground and looks at the machine on his chest.

"Go on! We're right on the energy signal!" Mina yells, ignoring the stinging sand.

Roger pushes the button. Nothing happens. He pushes the button again and again and again.

"It's not working!"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"It's should be working! I invented it!"

"Guys!"

They all turn to see Poppy who points up the sky.

"The energy is up there," she says.

They all stare up in the sky.

"How high?" the scientist inquires.

"About a hundred feet, give or take a few!"

"How are we supposed to get her up there?" Jessica asks.

Rhoda turns to Herman, "Herman-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-are you also a Discus throwing athlete?" Roger asks Mina.

Mina nods in understanding and grabs Roger by the arm. Roger lets his body relax as Mina spins him around above her head until he becomes a blur.

"Twenty seconds!" Pop yells.

Mina begins to spin around her feet –around and around and around, spinning faster and faster.

"Fifteen! Hurry up!"

Mina's brows crease with concentration as she leans her whole weight against the inertia.

"… Thirteen!.. Twelve!... Eleven!"

Mina lets him fly into the stratosphere where Pop has pointed before.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"…two…" Poppy does not finish counting as she waits what will happen next.

Rhoda becomes a dot… and then nothing.

The Mad Scientist's jaw drops in dismay, "It can't be, there must be an explosion"

The winds die down and the clouds are swept away, leaving them in absolute silence in the starry sky.

Herman's fists clench, unbelievably praying to a God he has always ignored.

Jessica puts her hands on her mouth, feeling her throat constrict. _It can't be…_

When she has heard of the Cancellation Effect, she only became strong for Rhoda. If a miracle doesn't happen right now, she's going to-

BOOM!

"Roger!"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Rhoda!"

A tiny dot can be seen in the sky and they all ran after it. The tiny dot soon becomes bigger and bigger and they can see Rhoda using her skirt as a floater while her rabbit ears whir around like a helicopter.

Jesse catches her around the waist and Rhoda embraces him into a hug. He hugs her back, thanking every higher power who let her come home safe. He freezes when he hears her murmur something before his face splits into the happiest smile that people think he's not capable of.

"I love you too, Rhoda," he whispers back.

"Oh gross! Would you put her down already?!"

Rhoda and Jesse separate a bit to see Mina looking at them in a bratty manner with one foot tapping impatiently.

Mina yelps when Rhoda suddenly slips out of Jesse's arms and embraces her into a bone-crushing hug.

"I miss you too, Mina!"

Jesse lifts her up by her waist again as soon as she puts down a cursing Mina, "That's a nice look you got in there," he says, indicating her ribbon on top of her head.

"Thanks!" Rhoda exclaims, nuzzling his nose with her own, "Jessica put it in there."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Something falls down the sky, screaming.

"Roger!" Herman yells, running into the spot where he's going to fall. He stops, thinking of the logic of his actions as Roger's shadow becomes bigger and bigger.

_Oh, shi-_

CRASH!

Roger groggily rises up from the rabbit-shaped hole before placing an equally stunned Herman into the ground.

"Where am I?" Roger asks in confusion.

"Home, you doofus," Herman replies, shaking off the debris.

Roger's eyes clears and he smiles happily at Herman from the hole. He spreads his arms wide for a hug, "Baby Herman! I'm so glad to –OW!"

The rabbit gets interrupted when Herman punches him in the nose.

"You crazy rabbit! How many times did I tell ya NOT to touch props?! Especially the Mad Scientist's! You could have been wearing a sissy toga and playing the damn harp right now! Heck, do you have any idea how-"

"We met the coolest girl from another universe," Jessica says.

She scoops Roger up from the hole by his cheeks, "Honey bunny…." she coos.

"Love cups," Roger answers back mushily, hugging her around the waist, "I missed you so –mmph!"

Herman rolls his eyes and walks back to Poppy and the scientist to give them some privacy as Roger's feet reactively pedal the air. It seems like Jessica misses him too.

Poppy gives the Mad Scientist a hard look, "You're still going to pursue inter-dimensional travel even if I say it's too risky even for my kind, aren't you?"

"Yes," the scientist says smugly.

"Nothing I'm going to say is going to stop you, right?"

The scientist nods, "That's right," he folds his arms on his chest as he smirks up at her, "What are you going to do about it?"

WHAM!

Herman blinks in shock as the scientist falls to the ground with Poppy holding Jessica's frying pan.

"I don't give a shiznit about this loony but what…"

"It's just to give him some amnesia to delay him from his mad schemes," Poppy says casually, swinging the pan, "Hey Jessica! You can have it back now!"

Roger and Jessica walks back to them, holding hands.

"-you should have met Jesse and Mina, Jessica! They're great!"

"Really? What do I have in common with this Jesse?"

"Well, he has your sense of humour…" he says, looking meaningfully at Jessica. Jessica chuckles.

"Has mad driving skills and he even has your eyes," he stops, "Jeepers! What can you tell me about this Rhoda?" he asks turning to Herman.

Herman forces himself to look at Roger. Then he stares at him –really stares at him.

"Herman?"

Herman silently walks toward Roger until he's in front of the rabbit.

"Gyaaahh!" Roger yells in surprise as Herman leaps at him and clutches his red straps. Then Herman looks way, _way_ down inside his overalls.

"Herman!" a very indignant and red Roger yells, crossing his arms in front of his trousers. But Herman already has leaped back to the ground.

"You could have asked first!" the rabbit exclaims.

"Just checking," Herman says before walking off to the direction of the city, "Glad to have you back, boy Roger."

Jessica chuckles at Roger's reaction.

He turns to Jessica, "Jeepers! What's with him?"

* * *

DING-DONG!

The man opens the door to reveal Roger in civilian clothes.

He looks at the rabbit in confusion, "What the hell are you supposed to be?"

Roger grins at him under thick curly hair, "Trick-or-treat!" he says, holding up his pumpkin basket.

The man rolls his eyes, "Nice hair, by the wa-

"BOO!"

Roger's "hair" rises from his head to reveal Herman.

The man gives a very "manly" scream that can be heard across the neighbourhood.

Roger runs off with Herman on top of his head, both hooting with laughter. The man chucks candy bars at them.

"You crazy toons!" he yells before slamming the door close.

Herman wheezes, adjusting his wig costume, "It's always the big ones that lose it."

Roger checks his basket, "We got less candy than last year but," he grins up at Herman, "This is the best Halloween so far! Jeepers, I can't wait for Christmas! Remember when we went carolling?"

Herman cringes at the memory, "Uhm, Roger, about that…"

**THE END.**

* * *

**Author's Note**: There! Done already! Finished! Whew!

Thank you all for your support, your reviews, follows and faves **starwanker, anonymousZgirl, shadowteengirl, janette, beccalovesbumblebee, hippo scuba!** It made this story pushed through.

I never like the jealous type but they can be funny in unreal life.

And yes, people find it funny if toon girls can kick butt.

(Prim and Proper side): you DID NOT just have a toon hit on Roger that dirty. (Evil Side): Bwahahahahah! I did! Oh yes, I did! How can I resist after seeing this: toontownantics. blogspot 2009/10/rogers-carrot-bag-and-other-ammenities. Html or if you type **toontownantics carrot bag in google**.

Too bad they can't spend more time together and them meeting altogether sounds a bit cliché.

Sorry, Herman, not meant to be.

And the circle closes back on Halloween.

If I made you laugh or feel good then my job here is done. I'm not going to write for a while. Take a break from my hidden vice.

So what do you think? What did you feel? What's your favourite part in the whole story? Constructive Criticisms are welcome, I'm taking writing seriously.

I would love to hear from you. :)


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